Ada berita gembira- Sama-samalah kita berdoa yea

Ada berita gembira I dapat semalam.
Berdasarkan police report, mengatakan bahawa kereta #1 kami tidak patut dipersalahkan.

Kereta #2 patut di persalahkan kerana tidak memberi laluan kepada kereta kami. Seperti kata orang di Enterprise tu, sekiranya benar kereta #2 bersalah, maka, secara legally, kereta #2 harus dipertanggungjawabkan untuk membayar kerosakan kedua-dua kereta yang terbabit. Itu la proses legal /undang-undang bagi kes sebegini.
Alhamdulilah manager Enterprise tu pun, berbesar hati tidak mem'black list'kan nama I dari menyewa kereta dari Enterprise, sebab dia merasakan bahawa I pun tidak bersalah, dan sememangnya ini hanya kejadian yang pertama untuk I.

Hanya doa dari kawan-kawan kami harapkan.

Agar proses claim insurance kereta #2 dipermudahkan. Dan kami di pihak yang tidak bersalah ni tidak harus membayar apa-apa kerosakan pada kedua-dua kereta.
Amin.

Korang doala yea.
Amin

Rabu Aug 27 2008

I tgh mendengar lagu Takdir-Opick. Best gak lagu ni
Di saat saat tension ni lagu ni memang menyedarkan kita. Sapa kita . Begitu kerdil di tangan Tuhan.
Hari ni tension betul. Dan since takde kerja kat jabatan. I kat umah je. Melayan tension I. I banyakkan berehat je hari ni.

Petang tadi I g jogging. Kasi adrenalin sikit. Baru la badan pun sihat.

Tapi otak I ni kalau tension mesti nak g ke situ .Mengingatkan si dia. Dan teringatkan si dia. Tapi hakikatnya dah abadi dan kekal bahawasanya dia hanya menganggap I sebagai kawan sahaja. Mengapa nak ingat lagi ek. Takde u-turn dalam kehidupan. Masuk gear dan bergerak ke hadapan.
Ntah la. Kalau tension je. Sure terkenangkan dia nya. Itu automatic dalam otak ni.

Tapi padahal the real masalah is here.
I am involved in the accident. I dah dapat dah surat laporan polis ni. Hmm takutnya. Cemana nak menghadapi masa hadapan sebab masalah accident ni.

Korang doakanla I yea. Agar dipermudahkan proses urusan accident ni. Agar I takyah nak bayar kos2 yang sepatutnya memang syarikat besar macam Enterprise ni tanggung. Bukannya orang2 yang macam kami ini. Surat laporan polis dah mengatakan bahawa kami tak bersalah. Amin.
Harap2 la orang yang bersalah tu dapat tanggung kerosakan kedua dua kereta kami ini. I mean pihak insurans orang yang bersalah tu.
Amin.

Takdir (Qada dan qadar)

Opick Feat. Melly Goeslaw - Takdir

Dihempas gelombang dilemparkan angin
Terkisah ku bersedih ku bahagia
Di indah dunia yang berakhir sunyi
Langkah kaki di dalam rencana Nya

Semua berjalan dalam kehendak Nya
Nafas hidup cinta dan segalanya

dan tertakdir menjalani segala kehendakmu Ya Robbi
kuberserah kuberpasrah hanya padamu ya robbi
dan tertakdir menjalani segala kehendakmu ya robbi
ku berserah ku berpasrah hanya padamu ya robbi

bila mungkin ada luka coba tersenyumlah
bila mungkin tawa coba bersabarlahkarena air mata tak abadi
akan hilang dan berganti ( hilang kan berganti )

Bila mungkin hidup hampa dirasa
Mungkinkan hati rindukan Dia
Karena hanya dengan Nya hati tenang
Damai jiwa dan raga




crashedby the waves
thrown by the wind
separated
saddened
enlightened

in the amazement of the world
which ended ever in the loneliness
every step of the foot has been written by Him
everything is moving with his accordance
breath of life love and everything

It has been destined
To undergo everything you wish Ya Rabbi
I obey
I submit
Only to you Ya Rabbi

Whenever there is pain
Try your best to smile
Whenever theres laughter try your best to be patient
Cause tears are non-everlasting
It will come and go

Whenever life felt sore
Could it be that your heart is missing Him
Because only with Him the heart finds peace
Mind and soul serenity

Life must go on & Orientation

Life must go on. There are things that might be learnt from this accident that happen.
Such as:

* Plan your trip ahead. And have some time for relax or buffer zone.
* Make sure you are covered with insurance all the way, even if you have to pay more.
* Add additional drivers for car rental, otherwise, there is no use of opting for the car insurance.
* Believe in your self when you have doubts about the trip.
* If you have negative thoughts about the trip, then just lookout for the worse, anticipate and ask. What is the worse thing that could happen? And how do I deal with it. Make constructive judgments.IT WILL HELP.
* Ask yourself what are your priorities?
* What of I go on with this trip? How do I feel? What do I do there? Will it make me feel happy? And what if I do not go on this trip? How would I feel? What will I do back here? Will it make me feel happy?

Like for me, I did anticipate that something would go wrong, but I didn't make backup plans to deal with the problems that may arise. Hence when something did go wrong, I was left there in the open. Like an open target.


***********
Yesterday was Monday.
Since the trip was canceled, I was able to go for the Department's Orientation. I was not formally introduced to the Faculty Members when I first got here in Madison. The lecturer's are not always around the department anyways if I were to go and meet them one by one. This time it is orientation and that means the lecturers have to make time to meet the new Grad students.

The orientation has two parts, the Monday slot and the Tuesday slot. On Wednesday, they are having a picnic. Fun!
By the tour that was done yesterday, I found that the Department has some really good and multimillion dollars worth of equipments. And I never knew this before.Yesterday, I was introduced to the confocal, laser, electron and some other microscopes that I haven't seen before. And If people would ask me 'are the equipments in the USA better than the ones in Malaysia?' . I would definitely say yes to that. Our department holds the Biological Imaging Center. That is one of the keywords that I would say.

The herbarium is also extensive. It is one of the largest in the Nation. All of the samples were cataloged successfully last summer. And we were told to make full use of it.

They are only 6 new grad students this Fall 08.

Accident

An accident happened. That involved our car. They (the students) say that's its alright, they will be able to drive and they are expert drivers. But apparently accident happened. It was so confusing. I wanted to go to NYC but there are responsibilities too at hand. It was once a year trip. And trips were only conducted on summer. My lab mate said that I should go cause, its when you are in your first year that you could go for such trips. Cause later you would be busy. I should have seen the signs. My heart was so heavy on this trip. The seniors who drove the car will always drove themselves. Its IMPORTANT to cover yourself with insurance. Maybe its 5,000 /7 person. And its 714 for each of us? SIgh. And I used my Msian credit card and Msian drivers licence. I need to work. That could be the budget to go to NYC. There goes our trip money. Things happen. WE SHOULD LEARN FROM THIS. We're here in Ohio. We should be heading back to Madison today. Alhamdulilah, kami betolak dari Ohio pukul 3.00 petang dan tiba di Madison pukul 3.00 pagi tadi. Setelah berhenti untuk membeli bekalan ayam halal zabihah di Chicago. (disuatu kawasan yang seolah2 area masjid India). Dan juga setelah menikmati nasi beriyani pada harga usd5.00 sahaja. Setelah sampai, saya telah menghantar kawan2 untuk mereka kembali ke Illinois ke stesyen bas berdekatan. Kembali pada cerita. Macam gini lah, kalau dari segi kesalahan, orang yang keluar dari stesyen minyak tu bersalah. Sebab kereta kami berjalan pada lampu hijau dan bukan laju pun kereta kami tu. Tapi dari segi undang2 kami dah melanggar kontrak dgn kedai sewa kereta sebab membenarkan orang lain selain yang dibenarkan untuk membawa kereta. Ini bermakna segala insurans untuk melindungi kereta kami telah terbatal. Kami semua pemegang biasiswa kerajaan aje. Cuma minta jasa baik pembaca supaya, mendoakan kami. Seboleh2 nya agar insurans menanggung segala ganti rugi kerugian. Takpun, separuh dari kerugian yang sepatutnya kami tanggung. Yang rosak adalah lampu kiri dan bumper kiri. Dan yang dilanggar pula tayar punya alignment. Saya tidak dapat bayangkan berapa kos yang harus kami tanggung. Sebab di sini, labor charges adalah amat mahal. Sesungguhnya amat perit untuk ditanggung. Kejadian sebegini menyebabkan kita kembali muhasabah diri. Nak kata tak baca doa, doa dah baca. Saya suka amalkan zikir. Pada setiap kali kereta bergerak. Cuma pada pagi tu aje, yang saya tidak membaca zikir sebab saya terlalu penat. Tiba di Ohio jam 3.30 pagi. Bersiap2 dan pukul 4.00 bertolak. Subuh pada pukul 5.30 dan kami bercadang untuk solat subuh dalam perjalanan. Seharusnya setelah tiba di destinasi setelah bertolak pukul 3.00 ptgdan tiba pukul 3.00 pagi di Ohio, seharusnya kami memberikan masa untuk berehat seketika dan tunggu dahulu untuk solat subuh sebelum bergerak. Mungkin pemandu begitu, tidak sabar dan mahu tiba di destinasi secepat mungkin. Dan ada 4-5 destinasi lagi selepas sampai di Canada. Mungkin terlalu banyak benda yang bermain di fikiran pemandu itu. Kami seharusnya bermuhasabah diri. Apa kesilapan kita yang lalu telah kita lakukan. Mungkin disini, saya tidak memberikan emphasis kepada apa yang lebih penting. Atau pun saya terlalu mempercayakan orang tanpa mempedulikan keselamatan saya sendiri. Itu amat bahaya. So korang semua doakan kami ye, agar bala ini diangkat dari kami semua dan kami tidak payah membayar ganti rugi insurans kereta kami itu. Amin. Solat hajat dan doa sahaja harapan kami.

A new house (cleaned up)

I'm here at my new house. Well I should congratulate myself actually for organizing the whole kitchen, not to mention cataloging a ton of my housemates a year old food stuff (not to mention my own) into the respective places in the endless cabinets of the house. And today also I have managed to organize my room and made it spick and span. Hehe. Today new freshmen came, they are from JPA sponsorship and they came in a 2+3 program here in Madison. They might be staying at our house for a couple of days, hence, the abrupt and hectic house cleaning that we (the housemates) endured ourselves to. And some JPA and MSD officials came too. Our new house has no internet connection, and right now I am kinda 'borrowing' some other house's wireless connection. Its so bad, that I'm in and out of the YM. The internet and cable tv came as a bundle provided by Charter. And our housemate has an account, its just that we've so, they had to set it up again. Today at the lab, I had visitors from the Engineering School. A professor and his student.They wanted to see the set up of the algae culture room and my SV has given me the honour of explaining about the culture room. And next I was to explain about the culture flasks, and the products from the algae. Hmm, it seemed that everybody's doing the algae. I wonder what sets me apart from them? Experience, knowledge and plain old luck I guess(green fingers??). In this world of competitive science, I still haven't catch up on how people would advise another people on the science of stuff and still be doing it, without ever , another person taking their research. Maybe, I will learn it in time. Hey, maybe I won't. In the old University where I worked, it has always been competitive. And scientist are data stingy. And they only share with whom they will collaborate with. And I do not see this as a healthy culture. Scientist should be able to share, cooperate and also enrich themselves by collaboration, and at the same time, not losing the knowledge or information to another. Maybe, I will learn it in time. Hey, maybe I won't. Time will tell.

Moving

It's Friday afternoon here in Madison. And I am waiting for my fellow friends to call me to help me move in to a new place today. They rented the U-haul from 12 pm till 6 pm today. And I wonder if they have missed me. I called them and in fact that they are on their way.

Its a peculiar thing here in Madison where you lease ends on 14th August, 12pm and you have to move out of your house but, you do not move in to your new house until the next day 15th of August. Strange isn't it? Where exactly do you stay on the night of August 14th? Nowhere I tell you. You are basically homeless for one day!

For my friends and I we have to camp at a friends house. Such a hassle! And remember, I just arrived the day before! I arrived on the evening of Thursday August 13th, had time to breathe and eat for a couple of hours and next, pack my things up to move tomorrow! Add jet lag to the equation!

For me, I packed things up till 12 midnight, then it gets too much that I had to go to sleep for a while and around 3.30 I woke up and continued packing. And around 5 o'clock I finished packing. Next ! time to haul things up the truck!

It seemed that the storage where most of the Malaysian store their stuff temporarily is almost full and they wanted me to store my stuff for one night at my lab. So, I said yes.

People here are courteous, when they saw me hauling things at the Department and one staff, helped me by bringing me a cart. That was so thoughtful! So all of my stuff are here at the lab. And I am still waiting for my friends(new housemates) to bring in the U-haul truck.

Delay in Narita

Today's Wed Aug 13 2008. I'm in the plane NW12 going to Detroit, MI. Although duration of the flight is 12 hours, the plane will leave at 4.15pm, it will arrive at the same day Wednesday at 4.34pm in Michigan.And to make it easy , we could just based it on Malaysian time, it is now 3.15pm Wed and I'll be arriving on Thursday 5.30 am.

Whatever it is, I am sure to doze off for at least 6 hours. And also since it is 2 am in Madison, it is 4 pm in Narita Airport Tokyp and I love seeing people work outside of this terminal. You know it feels healthy working in the sun. Perspiration makes you so healthy. It really perks you up. Daylight :work, Nightime:sleep. It is so normal to be like that. Hehe. What's the fuss you may ask? Well, I would answer that imagine yourself being in a topsy turvy world in a couple of hours. Its the jet lag. I'm gonna have to work when the body clock's saying me to sleep and I'm going have to sleep when the body's ticking rise and shine. Its gonna take me a couple of days to get used to it. I know.And as they say, you need to go out into the sun as much as possible, to help to encounter the jetlag. Appreciate the sunset and at night, sleep!

Being a student overseas is sure tough. Jet lag, clock adjustment, immigration, food and study at the same time.I'm going have to adapt adapt and adapt. What will help though is to visualize the success feeling I shall have when the time comes for me to finish my labwork, the preliminaries tests, courses and defense for my PhD. Yup, after being 'all but dissertator' status like Shn said.

What I really wish is to instill in me the research culture that the scientists in the states have. I need to really feel the research that I am doing. In doing so, not only I will gain satisfaction and pleasure in finishing the research and do journal writing but more than that is cultivating the research culture for future students in Malaysia to be interested in research and helping in creative writing of journals. I feel the researches in the States read the journal paper excitingly, reading each and every word. And just by using a certain word, it puts the whole meaning of the research to a different emphasis and impact. This fascinates me a lot. For as long as I have read the literature articles, they are no more monotonous than reading the daily newspaper.

I also think that I need to instill in me the reading as a pleasure as a hobby. So that ways of expressing oneself through creative writing are explored and messages are expressed thoroughly and accurately as possible. Reading as a hobby, frankly speaking has not catched on to me. Usually I read for motivational and religious purposes, and sometimes novels. (Nicholas Sparks-A walk to remember:very touching!).

It is 4.15 Narita time, and the Captain of the plane has informed that there have been some problems with the maintenance of the engine. And it end up at arougn 5.15 the plane leaves for Detroit.

Stranded 6 hours in Singapore

Today is another journey for me. To go back to reality back to Madison. And right now I am in Singapore. It is a quarter to 2 am on a Wednesday morning. And my next flight will be at 6 am. I am once again alone. This time it is for real. I do not feel anything, I feel numb. The same feeling that I have when I went to Madison 8 months ago. Now the feeling is the same, its just that, without any feeling at all of love to anyone. Donot mind me, its just the heart talking. I wanted it so bad. I wanted it to happen and in the way being blind and neglecting my own happiness. I am glad that the almighty has given me the insight. The little thing that you have done has opened my eyes to the reality of life. I am strewn across the ground. Feeling sorry for myself.I could lie to myself, I could pretend that there are no problems at all. But I'd be deceiving myself. A friend is just a friend, and a special one is another. What is in my mind right now? I wish that the trip back to Madison is a smooth one without any problems. And I wish that I could finish my degree in time. And I wish that this experience being overseas will enhance me as a scientist, a colleague a fellow friend and also as a human being. There are more things in life, than material wealth. My mom cried again this time. As usual, and surprisingly both my mum and dad apologized to me. And I did apologize to them for all the wrong doings that I have done. And especially, that Ramadan's coming and its time for forgiveness. My mom's the type that usually does not show love in the open, but usually hides them. And dad, hmm he gave a lot of priority to his favourite grandson. Maybe its true, you have to have enough love for yourself then only it is enough to give love away. Thats my two cents (or somebody elses' ). Would somebody please love me?

Hectic Monday

Today is really hectic day for me. First I have to go to UM to return the robe for convocation. And then I also wanted to see my ex supervisor to express my gratitude for supervising me all these years. And as I called him, he made a special request for me to wear the robe and take a picture with him. And so , I agreed. I arrived in UM around 1.00 o'clock. A multitasking person, my SV, he had meeting with another lecturer and 2 master students while I prepared myself with the robe. After taking pictures with him, we went downstairs to meet with YongShin and snapped some more pictures. Next I see Arpah and snapped some more pictures. This time, less formal and more fun. Hehe, then with Azlan and Sarinder. I said goodbye and parted to UPM. After settled things in UPM, off I go to KLIA to pick up my bro whos here to see me and also coincidentally he had a course next week .So he took a week off. On the way back, we had a drink with Bae at Maulana Cafe. I had nasi lemak with cockle rendang while my bro had maggie goreng mamak. He said it was rare for that type of food in Sarawak. It was so nice of Bae to accompany us for tea, while he was also fasting  at that day. We went home after that. I asked my bro to drive since I was kinda exhausted. For Isyak, my dad wanted to go to the mosque for Jemaah, so at around 10 we headed to Giant to buy some groceries that I want to bring back to Madison. Around 11.00 we arrived home, and Giant closes at 11.00. And I felt so hot, I wanted to take a shower right away, but my mum wanted me to eat the chicken rendang she prepared. So, not wanting to hurt her feelings, obligingly I eat. Next I have to pack my things. See ya. Wasalam

Volleyball and sup meletup

Today, it was Hishamuddin's idea that we all got together to play volleyball at the Cheras Technical Institute. And today has not been a real fine day for me. The plan was that I were to go to this Dr Rizal's dental clinic for scaling my teeth. I wanted to go on Friday, but my mom suggested that I went on Sunday instead. And it seemed that on Sunday, the clinic is only open by appointment. So much frustation , when I found it out. And then, my dad was kind enough to accompany me to search for a dental clinic that opens on Sunday. And we found this clinic situated right next to McD. And the thing is the clinic charged RM150 for scaling, whereas in Dr Rizal's clinic only charges RM50. That was too much for me. And I agreed cause my dad says its on him. The clinic was bad too, cause, the Dr only did the cleaning of my teeth on a very short period of time, and he skipped the brushing part. I mean,like what kind of service is he giving. That was terrible. And as I asked my dad for the money, he wanted compensation. So , I agreed. Another thing that went wrong today. The afternoon was alright. My sis did mentioned that she was moving out. And I spend most of my afternoon chatting on YM. The plan for the afternoon was, after my younger sister left for UITM, then me and Azam would go to Carrefour. But then around 3pm Hishamuddin texted, asking me to join the guys in playing volleyball. It was such a splendid idea indeed. I agreed instantaneously. It is not tha often that all of us could get have a get together like this. Around 5 pm, me and Azam left for MPT. Driving in the MPT, just gives me the shudders. I remembered 2006. I remembered everything. It was like walking in back in time. There was K, Din, Sapari, Hishamudin, Fazli, Madan, new friends, Azmi and Rahman. I had fun .Seeing you guys again, together is really precious to me. And I love playing volleyball with you guys at the Maktab Perguruan Teknik Cheras cause it gives such sweet memories back in 2006. It was different playing with the guys, cause you got to be yourself. No pretending, everybody knows everybody and everybody is free to be themselves. Shrieking all around! :) Then, after Maghrib prayers, we went to Sup Meletop.The fun starts when Ramadan started talking, and Sapari would add to it. The fun is endless. Hahaha. Khairuddin treated us all dinner, since his birthday is around the corner. Thanks Din, hope that you will be granted more rezeki in the future! And all my dear friends I wish you guys all the luck in the world, and may you guys improve in time to come.

Saw versus Kitchen knife

When you think that you need a saw to cut a PVC pipe, it seemed that a kitchen knife works as well.

Things may become hard as you wish for it to be. I learned this when I try to think of taking with me the gifts my friends have given me for my Convocation last Tuesday August 05, 2008. The gifts were attached to this PVC pipe by the rear. The plastic pipe is stuck in the asses of the fluffy toys and glued.(disula) So, to separate the toys from the pipe is actually in a process of destroying them. So, I figured it is best to just let them be, and to just cut the plastic pipe to a minimum length.
Thank you guys for attending my convocation. I really appreciate it. And my dad was even more surprised that you guys turned up.

I might say that, in life, you might think that you have to have/acquire a special apparatus to solve a new problem, when actually what you need is , a thing that you already have. And you do not see this, only after you found out that , the apparatus didnot work as well.