Responsibilities

I can't believe that I am not thinking of a certain somebody right now. No one. Usually, its those moments of silence and alone and I'll get anxious and think about certain someone. But right now, there is no certain someone. And my heart beats fast to the responsibilities that I am dealing with.

 I'm just tired.  I've just had a weif meeting and guess what I'm kinda included in it. I mean before this it's like yada yada on and on the meeting goes on but nothing about me. Before that, it was the certification meeting.

I am just tired I think. I've just had my final paper on Monday. It was alright. I think I got all the answers correct.
The weif meeting, hmm, I need to specify my protocols for bacteria id and send it to Shna. Well, I really hope that one day I will be at par with the American scientists. We just need to.

A great Saturday Afternoon 6/27/09

Dearest,

Just now I really had a great time, hanging with fellow friends. And to make me happy the friends have to be my fellow grad students from Malaysia.
I watched the Proposal starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. Before that, I, actually we saw UP. An animated Disney movie. That was so touching, and yet so funny.

It is the first time, I prayed standing up at the cinema. It was different.
I like it when I have friends who respect me. I like it when I have friends that prioritize solat. I Iike it when friends remind each other of praying. I like it to be around down to earth people. People who know their roots.

I like to watch funny movies. I like cartoons /animated that have meaning in them. Like UP. And I like romantic comedy too.

Whats really been going on today Monday 4th May 2009

Today is Monday.
And unlike the other days, today, is the last week of class.
Next Sunday would be my Final Exam.

Today, having feeling contented of finishing the Phylo labs, I was ready to go home. It was time to relax and get ready for hardcore studying , I thought to myself.
The week of Finals, awaits me...
But alas, as I rode my bike, something was wrong.

Today a mishap happened. As I was about to leave Birge Hall, I realized that my front tire was flat.
Rachel(friend) was kind enough to inform me that, there is a bicycle pump available at B2.
I pumped some air into the bike, but it refused to inflate. A hissing sound was heard as I pumped air into the tyre.
I was thinking that (maybe) somebody was playing a prank?
Cause, Rachel's bike was also deflated, she complained.
And another person's bike was also having the same (predicament?)
Hesitantly, I held the bicycle frame with one hand, the other hand holding the steering bar.
Off I go to the nearest bicycle shop, about 20 minutes walking.
It costs about $10 to have the tube replaced.

And I cycled home feeling grateful that my bicycle is still up and running.

Back at home, another task is at hand,
I needed to do the laundry.

Next came the cooking, and next the folding of the clothes.
I guess I'll wait for the rice to cook.
:D

Hmm. My classmate, er..actually from Horticulture, and also a foreigner  presented on the Darwin seminar today.
I was hoping that since, (he spoke kind of fluently, but in his own accent), he would have made a better slide presentation.
But instead, he boldly, took the front row and ....ask questions instead.
The questions were actually, the questions I would have asked, if , if ever, I was given the freedom to be me.
(Instead I was trying very hard to do exactly the same presentation as the locals have).
But for me his presentation was, actually, more of ..... hmm..4 slides that's it.
He tried his best, and he was confident.
He got the (mostly) the whole class speaking. By directly asking questions (and pointing to!!)
And why you might ask I not be like him?
Well first of all, I was always hiding my anger in the class.
Learning Darwin was never ever my main reason coming to the States.
And I always have to dampen my anger, be calm, be somebody else, be like the locals in the class, when all I had in my mind was 'blasphemy!' and 'can't you guys think that maybe there is some HIGHER plans, besides this?"
UGhh...The class was always testing my anger.
And for me to be myself, ugh..it wouldn't work.

Anyways, I've got a paper to read for tomorrow..

Be thankful

Be thankful,
Just be thankful for what you have.
Those around you.
For what you have
Instead of what you don't have.
Smile.

After the rain

After the rain ends, the sun will shine again.

Sent from my iPod

Speaking 4/28/09

Accomplishment?
Being able to present in a room filled with the native speakers and Professors.
Talking about Darwin, explaining a chapter of the Book.
The Book.
Who would have thought? Me?
A taboo really in Malaysia.
Never thought of..
Never talked about..

Phew!
One thing off my chest.
And yet two more to go.
Phylogenetics.
Plant Phys.

Tanpa Kalian

Tanpa Kalian
by Dato' Siti Nurhaliza

Saat jiwa terluka
Saat hidupku hampa
Semua telah terjadi
Disini tanpa kalian

Saat tak ku dapatkan
Kedamaian dihati
Semua mimpi buruk pun terjadi

Tak bisa terlukiskan di hatiku
Terhiris sangat perit
Tak ingin ku ingkari kegelapan ini

Aku memang tak bisa bertahan dan tegar
Tanpa kalian dekat denganku
Aku hanya susuk manusia yang lemah
Tanpa kalian disini

Aku hanya berharap
Dan tunggu waktu bicara
Ku ingin kalian dekat denganku

Aku lelah untuk terluka
Saat semua mata memandangku nista
Hilang arah diriku di sini

Sun March 1st 2009 Indoor Jogging

Syukur alhamdulilah..

Its Sunday evening.
I am back at the lab after walking from the Serf.
I just had an evening run at the Serf. The building had a jogging track which is situated at the 4th floor.
Who would imagine a jogging track at the highest floor!?

The weather's kind of chilly. Eh, it is chilly. Its 15 Fahrenheit, or about -7 Celsius. I had this dilemma of not having the locker and still I need to go jogging at the Serf without worrying about my stuff that I brought along.

So I thought that, I should leave my stuff at the lab and wear something adequate to walk to the Serf (about 15 minutes walk) and bear the cold just a little bit, to go to the Serf.
I wear my long sleeve t-shirt and one fleece liner, one track bottom and track shoes. And I walked to Serf.

Other thing that I considered was that 5.30pm is the time the sun sets and ..Its going to be awfully cold to walk.
I better start my jog early so that around 5.00pm I should be over and head back.

It's my first time there.
4th floor. Wow.
The track is like an oval balcony overlooking people playing Basketball below.The track winds around the periphery of Gyms 1 & 2. It is divided into three lanes which are designated "walk", "jog", and "run". In each corner of the track there are stretching mats as well as various cardio machines, punching bags, and stretching bars for a full cardio workout.

Wow. I really liked it.
It really beats the boring treadmill.
I made 14 rounds in about half an hour.

The track is 1/10 of a mile. That means..I made about 1 1/4 mile run.
I guess its not bad for my 1st time running.

Saturday Feb 28th 2009

Today is Saturday Feb 28th 2009.
I gave out a loud sigh. What a week it was.
The Midterms are really really............challenging..is the word.
I am not allowed to use more than challenging. Cause its the truth. It challenges you and you need to keep up. Accept it as a challenge. Well the Prof seemed to like the subject. A lot!
So you got to see kind of his perspective of the matter.
Its good learning here. Over enthusiastic Professors.
Gleaming in their eyes, with enthusiasm.

I am doing my laundry today. Imagine, I couldn't even do my laundry last week because of the Midterm.
It was expected actually, the week of Midterms. All at once.
Luckily for me the Seminar of Evolution Presentation is not due until April 27.

Last night I called Izw, it was enlightening. To hear a familiar voice from Malaysia.

Sun 1/19/09 AJL

Today I woke up early. Hehe. Its the AJL 2008 Finals, and a freshman told me about it yesterday and how he was so anxious waking up early to watch the show. Anyways, it was broadcasted live at the tv3 website.

It was refreshing to know that the music industry in Malaysia is changing. An indie group Meet Uncle Hussein won with Lagu Untukmu. The song was actually composed in 2005 and not until recently that the song has gained popularity with the audience. The song was a theme for 'Kami' a web-based short film, and thus has gained popularity with the younger generation. I did not know about the song until, I came here in WI in January 2008.
Its kinda ironic that you would watch your own films and tv shows when you are not staying in your own country.
And when you are back, you continue being a fan of USA shows.Hehe.

Just saw shawshank redemption. Phew. What a great movie it was. Just brilliant. I mean like I have heard that people talk greatly about the film and now after seeing it myself. I have to agree.

Saturday January 17 2009

Salam.
Baru lepas selesai makan nasi lemak sambal sotong. Huhu. Sambal is very complex. The chilli could be too hot. Or it could be not up to taste. Or a little less this and a little bit that.
Entahla..sambal sotong kali ni..Hmm okay la. Tak pedas. Itu yang penting. I tambah gak sos tomato dan sos cili gak.
Hmm tadi goreng ikan bilis dan kacang. Telur rebus. Sotong beli yang squid tu tapi yang saiz besar. Siap dah cuci semua.
Hari ni Sabtu.
Semalam trial run DNA extraction and run gel. Tengok2 si labmate I lak yang ada result. I takde pun.
Tension gak. So I figured that, I am going to give today a rest.

Baru selesai buat snowman
Lepas masak2 buat snowman lak plannya
Hehe jadi gak..
Rupanya ada seni gak buat snowman ni rupanya.
Nasihat i pada yg belum buat snowman tu..Try tengok kat youtube dulu. Ada teknik2 yg betul untuk membuat snowman.

Trip to Florida

I'm here in an AA plane. It’s actually American Eagle. It brings back memories of having to take a flight going home and coming back here. As usual, on a plane you get ideas to write. I’m quite lucky to have a friend with me. It is Winter Break and I am going to Florida.

It's going to be about 5 hour’s flight to Florida. Friends are waiting for us there. I'm here with Mshth. It feels so much better going with on this trip than the trip to so called NYC.

I wonder what makes a trip awful. Lots of things actually, it could be that u r not having close friends with you; it could be that your companions are behaving like a bunch of hooligans. It’s the misbehaving that I could not stand. Oh come on! Who do they think they are? A bunch of locals? They r still foreigners! Although they r living their fragile early adolescence here in the so called land of the free, the fact is they r still Asians. We Asians are more reserved, and more refined, I guess.

I mean oh behave!! I am really curios as to why do they behave the way they are. It is as if they really needed to vent out some frustrations. Stresses needed to be vented out that's my best bet. The person I'm talking about is really hardworking all day all year round, so it's logical.

From the rounded corners of the plane windows I could see the whole of Madison. Wow, it's really flat out here! We have just taken off. Seriously flat out here. I mean like if anything were to hit the country out there like a storm or something, this place will literally be flat out gone!

Oh it's turning! It's dizzy I'm getting dizzy.

Wow seriously flat out here. No hills or elevations could be seen. Shining frozen rivers could be seen from up here. Beautiful.

Just had a drink-cranberry juice.
Oops we are landing in 5 minutes time.

Next plane, now on board, flight to from Chicago O’Hare to Orlando. I was supposed to check in together with Mshth, and I thought that it's settled as we checked in at the MSN airport by it's not. So I end up being separated with her. It's ok. I could use a peace of mind for a while. You know, to let the mind wonder for a bit.
It's kind of strange that a flight like this doesn't provide food. And good thing is that we got to bring our own food. Kind of strange to me being on a plane and eating from your own supply of food. Culturally it is different. Flights are, for me, expensive, classy, with elegantly clad pleasant looking stewardess. Hot good food served in tiny little cups, with just enough amounts to make u full but not too much to make u sick.

I'm still here at my seat, waiting for the flight to take off. Reassuring voice from the captain, 5 minutes time.

I had a chat with the man next to me and he ended up switching seats with Mshth. Alhamdulilah.