the big beautiful noisy world and anything that can happen.

hello..there..

ive been watching the angelina jolie flick..and has since kept wondering what are my believes and what do i want in this life?
well actually what do i want in my life?

well actually i have been living my life.. and i donot have a single clue..what is life about..easy if you have fallen in love but i haven't.

That movie is practically saying ..hey grab your love life ..your true love first..then your job ..second

Did you ever feel like you were missing out?
Did you ever feel like you didn't belong?
I used to feel that way.Big time
I thought that by changing the way I looked and dressed, i could plug all the gaps in my life.
I wanted to be a part of something. anything.
I didn't care what, I didn't care how.
I thought that I could buy a style. A style to change me, create a new me, make me someone else,
It is only when i realised how wrong i was, that i suddenly saw the person i wanted to be, looking right back at me.

Now for the first time in my life i can see what is beautiful.
How much really important. and its all around.
so close.
 i just have to reach out..and its there..
I've found my voice
Show me how to use it
its funny aint it?
the  big  beautiful noisy world and anything that can happen.

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Barbeque on February 5, 2005

Dear Diary,

It was okay the barbecue. I went with Kish at about 10.00am on a Saturday morning 5 February. We ended up at the LTH bank cause Kish wanted to buy a handphone. I ended up at the Post Office paying bills.

Then, Arpah just went ahead to the Bioinformatics Building by cab.

Those who came according to time: Ridzuan, Lee Choo, Arpah, awek Azlan, Azlan, Nurul, Riz, Kish, kak Rohani, and 3 children, Faizul, Rashdan, En. Haron, Zahriah, Kak Ziz and hubby and 2 kids.

Kak Ziz told us that she couldn't get no satisfaction working on the Faculty of Education at Open University.

Rashdan left first. He had a lab in UIA before.

We had our barbecue just outside the lab ..on the open air. on the balcony.. We had grilled chicken, burgers, sausages, corn on the cob, Arpah cooked fried mee hoon. Zahriah prepared the barbecue sauce.

Overall it was a success.
I left at 7.10 pm.
After being uncomfortable persuaded by the sales girl, and being so persuaded,
Kish bought a neat Nokia 7200 flip phone for Rm900 -RM50 =RM850. We arrived home at 11.00

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Brand New Day

Well another brand new day for me without my supervisor..

Okay I came to the lab around 10.45 because i enjoyed the breakfast at home first. And then ..after reading some mails. And hearing a good information from my colleague..Its already 12.00 pm and my other colleage asks me to go lunch with them. So I went.

 

And after lunch at 12 college, I went to Lan's house . And had a nice chat with my other colleage. Then I went back to the lab. Then I had to go to the bank to pay the car loan and also to bank in RM150 for my gym.Then i remembered Ikie. I had to see him after what had happened to me at the gym yesterday

 

I arrived. at the lab at 3.00 something. Had a tea break with ikie at aroung 4.00. Then at 4.30 I went back to the lab. To read more emails.

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Unmotivational

Unmotivational

 

That's what I came to UM for. Except for the so and then push by my supervisor. What is the root of my problem? I don't even know what it is. Its the bad negative imputs I had with the Dean. Its the bad experience at Hiroshima?

Or is it the the results of the lichens that has not been too promising? Or is it the overall hardship of doing time-consuming taxonomist work? Or it it the not too promising commercial uses of Malaysian lichens that is in the end of the 20 year work will totally result in ...nothing or something that is mediocre?

 

I see it all..I see the future.

Is it too bad to see the future?

 

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Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Search presents - Jib Jab's 'Second Term'