You could not change a man unless he wants to change himself

It's really disheartening to see the Malay Muslim community being swept away by the masses, by the culture of the Americans. Here, sex is free, weeds is the norm and alcohol is a part of daily life. Well, in a society where everything and anything is allowable, what holds you back? I would say Iman. I really hope that my belief and Iman will grow stronger as the day passes.
And although it sickens you to see those in sin and it kind of relieves you of the stress of having to live with them and see them everyday, but at the same time, your heart kind of feels sick of saying or criticizing them everyday, everytime.
Well, I guess I better put an end to the comments and critics that I might have.
You could not change a man unless he wants to change himself.
It is actually from the Quran
[13:11]Surah Ar-R'ad
For each one are successive [angels] before and behind him who protect him by the decree of Allah . Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves. And when Allah intends for a people ill, there is no repelling it. And there is not for them besides Him any patron.

Sometimes I feel like I am such a coward for letting this happen, in my own house. But then again, I had done my duty, I had told them the rightful way and they did not obey. So, I shall let them be. There is nothing within my power to stop them doing it.
And if a man is not ready for change, he will not change.

Realiti masyarat muslim di perantauan

Seorang sahabat saya ada berkata..
Iman kita ditarik sedikit demi sedikit di perantauan ini..
Kita mulakan dengan menghalalkan makanan yg tidak halal..
mula minum arak, ganja...zina?(budaya biasa untuk undergad di sini)
kemudian..mula tinggalkan Solat Jumaat seumpama tiada apa..
kemudian tinggalkan solat 5 waktu...
menjadi keliru antara halal dan haram?
memula membuat perbuatan2 haram tanpa sedar..
biasa membuat benda2 haram sebagai tabiat..
kemudian mempersoalkan agama?
Kemudian...meninggalkan agama?

Begitulah keadaannya di sini..realiti...
kepada yang sudah jauh dibawa sesat..silalah kembali ke pangkal jalan..
kerana pintu taubat masih terbuka..

My laptop died

After being so faithful to me for 4 years my laptop died eventually.
It has been with me from August 2006. Four years.
Although it died when I first came here in January 2008.
I had it repaired twice since I've been in the USA.
My laptop died, and it has brought with it my mood, my work and passion to write.


I need a new laptop.

Right now, I am lending the library's laptop. The laptop could be rented for 3 days at a time. So after the time is due, I borrowed a new one for another 3 more days.

I did make a backup of all my files. And although my laptop died, it is still able to be on for an hour and then goes off. It's like that.
So there's time for me to backup all my files.

Better Friends

I've had better friends. Those who are really attuned to you. They listen, they see, they watched. And usually, they know without even saying, what you really wanted to say. They know when you are in need. When you are in pain, they stopped talking, they start to listen. They know what's best for you in your situation. In order to help you.
They help you rebuild your confidence when there is none left.
They would not go with their plan even though you just said yes.. My God!
These kinds of friends, they're brilliant!!

I would say these kinds of friends are precious. A diamond in the rough, or a cut diamond, you pick. These kinds of friends, however harsh they might sound, really don't affect me. Cause I see who they really are. They are usually whom I share secrets with. I share my laughter with. I guess I could say that they include one of my siblings. How lucky am I to have them. They might not be perfect. They have flaws and once or twice have hurt me too. But, in and all, they're great!

Responsibilities

I can't believe that I am not thinking of a certain somebody right now. No one. Usually, its those moments of silence and alone and I'll get anxious and think about certain someone. But right now, there is no certain someone. And my heart beats fast to the responsibilities that I am dealing with.

 I'm just tired.  I've just had a weif meeting and guess what I'm kinda included in it. I mean before this it's like yada yada on and on the meeting goes on but nothing about me. Before that, it was the certification meeting.

I am just tired I think. I've just had my final paper on Monday. It was alright. I think I got all the answers correct.
The weif meeting, hmm, I need to specify my protocols for bacteria id and send it to Shna. Well, I really hope that one day I will be at par with the American scientists. We just need to.

A great Saturday Afternoon 6/27/09

Dearest,

Just now I really had a great time, hanging with fellow friends. And to make me happy the friends have to be my fellow grad students from Malaysia.
I watched the Proposal starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. Before that, I, actually we saw UP. An animated Disney movie. That was so touching, and yet so funny.

It is the first time, I prayed standing up at the cinema. It was different.
I like it when I have friends who respect me. I like it when I have friends that prioritize solat. I Iike it when friends remind each other of praying. I like it to be around down to earth people. People who know their roots.

I like to watch funny movies. I like cartoons /animated that have meaning in them. Like UP. And I like romantic comedy too.

Whats really been going on today Monday 4th May 2009

Today is Monday.
And unlike the other days, today, is the last week of class.
Next Sunday would be my Final Exam.

Today, having feeling contented of finishing the Phylo labs, I was ready to go home. It was time to relax and get ready for hardcore studying , I thought to myself.
The week of Finals, awaits me...
But alas, as I rode my bike, something was wrong.

Today a mishap happened. As I was about to leave Birge Hall, I realized that my front tire was flat.
Rachel(friend) was kind enough to inform me that, there is a bicycle pump available at B2.
I pumped some air into the bike, but it refused to inflate. A hissing sound was heard as I pumped air into the tyre.
I was thinking that (maybe) somebody was playing a prank?
Cause, Rachel's bike was also deflated, she complained.
And another person's bike was also having the same (predicament?)
Hesitantly, I held the bicycle frame with one hand, the other hand holding the steering bar.
Off I go to the nearest bicycle shop, about 20 minutes walking.
It costs about $10 to have the tube replaced.

And I cycled home feeling grateful that my bicycle is still up and running.

Back at home, another task is at hand,
I needed to do the laundry.

Next came the cooking, and next the folding of the clothes.
I guess I'll wait for the rice to cook.
:D

Hmm. My classmate, er..actually from Horticulture, and also a foreigner  presented on the Darwin seminar today.
I was hoping that since, (he spoke kind of fluently, but in his own accent), he would have made a better slide presentation.
But instead, he boldly, took the front row and ....ask questions instead.
The questions were actually, the questions I would have asked, if , if ever, I was given the freedom to be me.
(Instead I was trying very hard to do exactly the same presentation as the locals have).
But for me his presentation was, actually, more of ..... hmm..4 slides that's it.
He tried his best, and he was confident.
He got the (mostly) the whole class speaking. By directly asking questions (and pointing to!!)
And why you might ask I not be like him?
Well first of all, I was always hiding my anger in the class.
Learning Darwin was never ever my main reason coming to the States.
And I always have to dampen my anger, be calm, be somebody else, be like the locals in the class, when all I had in my mind was 'blasphemy!' and 'can't you guys think that maybe there is some HIGHER plans, besides this?"
UGhh...The class was always testing my anger.
And for me to be myself, ugh..it wouldn't work.

Anyways, I've got a paper to read for tomorrow..