Biarlah

Biarlah-Nidji

Biarlah
by Nidji

aku sudah berlari
mengejar yang tak pasti
mengejar kamu.. hanya dirimu..

kulantunkan hidupku
kubisikkan cintaku
hanya untukmu.. hanya untukmu...

tapi engkau terus pergi
tapi engkau terus berlari
jadi biarkanlah aku di sini

biarlah kurela
melepasmu, meninggalkan aku
berikanlah aku
kekuatan untuk lupakanmu

waktu terus bergulir
sakit tetap mengukir
jalan hidupku.. jalan hidupku..

berikanlah jiwamu
berikanlah cintamu
hanya untukku.. hanya untukku

tetapi engkau terus pergi
tapi engkau terus berlari
jadi biarkanlah aku di sini

kau jauh dariku
kau tetap menjauh dari aku.

Warkah

Lagu Bau-Warkah

Takkan lagi aku menunggu
kau hadir di dalam mimpi-mimpiku
puasku mengharapkan dirimu
seperti mereka yang punya cinta

Diriku tanpa dirimu
kau tempuhi penuh bahagia
diriku mahu kau tahu
pedih ini kau tak terasa

Warkahku mengharapkan dirimu
seperti yang aku kenali dulu
setiaku menantikan dirimu
seperti setianya terhadap diriku

Tapiku melepaskan mu
melangkah namun tak berdaya
terusku terus menunggu
cinta yang takkan pernah ada

Happy Halloween 08

How's the weather there?

'You speak of the weather as if, you were avoiding the conversation'

Well actually the weather here is Madison is , really important. The weather for me, will determine whether I will take the bus or ride the bicycle. To wear a hooded jacket or just an ordinary sleek looking jacket. And to chose between a comfortable airy sneakers or just the ones with an leather outer covering. Here there are lots of jackets, sweaters and pullovers.


Remember its a considerable amount of distance it is to go to the campus.
These are the decisions that go about when it comes to weather.
To bring a car or to ride the bike.
During rain, people here wear rain boots and rain jackets and hats.
Snow, scarves, cap, thermals, long sleeves, down-jacket, gloves, snow proof boots. And determination to walk through the snow.
To wear gloves or bare. Caps on or off.

Weather my dear, to me, its not something to keep my mind off things. It is something else.

Time tested. It worked again and again

U have to study for exam
But you are feeling not into it?
Try playing the Holy Al-Quran on the background

Harus ada rasa bersyukur setiap kali ujian menjelma

Harus ada rasa bersyukur
Di setiap kali ujian menjelma
Itu jelasnya membuktikan
Allah mengasihimu setiap masa


I like nasyeed songs. But..
hahaha siap goyang2 badan ni2
nyanyi2 geleng2 kepala hahaha

starting pun dah..takde significant..tukar2 channel? sebab nak mula nyanyi
hahaha
nyanyi sambil bukak2 tie, cuffs ala baru balik kerja
siap tunjuk2 tu kelakar hahaha
buat video klip macam takde tempat lain nak wat
goyang2 kat dapur
sambil2 masak..

pastu g taman..
gawang2 tangan pastu letak kat dada..
tunjuk2 lagi
hahaha

Er..tak sangka kawan kira Pet pun ada dalam video klip ni
siap tunjuk2 tangan lagi

enjoy!
and laugh too!





Mestica -Rahmat Ujian

Dalam derita ada bahagia
Dalam gembira mungkin terselit duka
Tak siapa tahu
Tak siapa pinta ujian bertamu

Bibir mudah mengucap sabar
Tapi hatilah yang remuk menderita
Insan memandang
Mempunyai berbagai tafsiran

Segala takdir
Terimalah dengan hati yang terbuka
Walau terseksa ada hikmahnya

c/o
Harus ada rasa bersyukur
Di setiap kali ujian menjelma
Itu jelasnya membuktikan
Allah mengasihimu setiap masa
Diuji tahap keimanan
Sedangkan ramai terbiar dilalaikan
Hanya yang terpilih sahaja
Antara berjuta mendapat rahmatNya

Allah rindu mendengarkan
Rintihanmu berpanjangan
Bersyukurlah dan tabahlah menghadapi

c/o

Segala takdir
Terimalah dengan hati yang terbuka
Walau terseksa ada hikmahnya

repeat c/o 2x

Allah rindu mendengarkan
Rintihanmu berpanjangan
Bersyukurlah dan tabahlah menghadapi
Segala ujian diberi
Maka bersyukurlah selalu

Aidil Fitri

Alhamdulilah
Many thanks to Allah, who has bestowed upon us so much.
Allah has given us the strength to once again having to go through Aidilfitri
He has given us strength for us to complete the Fasting month.

It is by this power that I was able to go to Eid prayer today.
Alhamdulilah, we kind of appreciate what we could do, especially when my friend in Nebraska, Zi, was totally confused and missed his Eid prayers yesterday.

There are a lot of muslims here, it seemed. Like a whole stadium. They say muslims here lived in pockets. Sporadic and segregated.

It was nice the Hari Raya It was the games that really liven up the mood for Hari Raya.We all should be happy for Raya. It is one of the many achievements that we have accomplished in the name of Allah.

Going back to class

Aghh..going back to class.its like reliving your life once again.
Catching the bus, painstakingly scribbling down every word that the Prof says, every once and awhile looking at the speaker and nodding in agreement.

The strange faces that stare in the huge lecture hall.
This time its different. No more same black hair, brown skinned students. Now, its blonde, blonde and brunette. Most students here.. most people here are blonde. They say that they traced back their roots back to Germany. Yeah, beer and cheese. People here like their cheese very much and beers too.

It was unfortunate that day, that I overslept and woke up at 10.20 am, when the class supposed to start at 9.50am. Shocking. It really gave a little bit of fright of my life. When you could not turn back time. I had sahur at 4.30am and went back to sleep after 6.00am. I set the alarm at 8.30am. And I was sleeping so soundly that I didnt realize the alarm went off.

Thats it, no more sleeping after sahur during school nights. Actually, I tested the alarm a weekend ago and I found that the alarm worked fine, but I am only aware of the alarm sound no less than 8.00am,not at 8.30am And at 8.30 I guess thats where the REM part of the sleep sets in and I am in dreamland (no turning back). Yup, thats true.

Next time, after sahur I shall be sleeping lightly and keeping my eye on the clock always. I never missed class during my undergrad, I guess maybe cause I have a roommate, and when I missed class during grad studies, it kinda makes you not feeling pretty good about yourself. Hopefully, next time, I will be more aware and not miss any more class.

On Tuesday, I callously asked the person next to me for her notes, she wasnt that receptive but she did give her notes. And I thanked her only to get a 'yup!' for a reply. It is after that that I realize that there are some missing parts that she didn't gave to me. After the cold response I get, I was sure wouldn't want to ask her again. And so I asked another student sitting to the right. She was more warm than the 1st. And she was so kind, that she lent me her whole notebook and only asking me to return it on Thursday.

Finally! Someone with a huge heart!! May Allah bless that girl.

Interesting aspects of education

On a fresh Friday morning, around 7.20 I had to leave the house. Cause there was a class trip organized by the Limnology. I am going off to..Lake Mendota by boat.
We were having a lab practical, just this once on the lake. And although I have treaded on the frozen ice surface of the lake during winter, I have yet to take a boat on the lake. And it turned out it was fun!

I guess for the most part, the fun was because the experiment went well. I did had experience using the Ekman grabber, zooplankton net, Von Dorn water sampler and the DO meter. We had about 10 of us in the boat and I was lucky to have the Prof with us, driving the boat alone (impressive!). The Prof is a bout 40ish and keeping himself humble at all times. While conducting our sampling, we had lively personal conversations with the Prof-not usual in Malaysia, where professional and personal do not mix.

I admired the Prof. He said clearly in the lecture hall that " I am giving the best that I can, I may admit that I do not have all the answers, but if you have a question that I could not answer, then I will get back to you as soon as possible'. Such humililty. And I do not think that ever, in my life as a student in a local university in Malaysia have I encountered such humble words! Profs in Malaysia are mostly influenced by the British colonial usually have egos and that means usually evading questions like that from students and even prompting the students to do further reading by themselves, thus limiting the interest of students.

Here in the US, the students are more open too. In the middle of the lecture when the need arises, students would raise their hand and the Prof would stop his lecture to answer questions from students. Although how lame the question is, the Prof answers professionally without making the student feel small.

Another class I am taking is the algae class. It is a take home test for all the exams.The difference is this class has already ruled out the exam questions, all of it. And it takes readings of 2-3 papers and the text book to answer the exam question. And this is interesting and not like the common, regurgitating the notes as most of the biological classes I have been to.

Interesting aspects of education.

Don't worry, you're gonna be just fine ;p

When situations and people may have put you down deliberately. Think about a good song that really perks you back up. Suddenly, I thought of this wonderful song.
You're gonna be just fine.
....



Would You Be Happier?
by The Corrs

Have you ever wonder where the story ends, and how it all began, I do (I do, I do, I do, I do)
Did you ever dream you were the movie star with popcorn in your hand, I did (I did, I did, I did)
Do you ever think you're someone else inside, when no one understands you are (you are)
and wanna disappear inside a dream but never wanna wake, wake uuuuuup
Then you stumble on tomorrow, and trip over today

(Chorus)
Would you be happier if you were someone together
Would the sun shine brighter if you played a bigger part
Would you be wonderful if it wasn't for the weather
You're gonna be just fine (gonna be just fine)

Are you not afraid to tell your story now,
when everyone is done it's too late (too late, too late)
Was everything you've ever said or done not the way you planned, mistaaaake
So you promised that tomorrow, be different than today

(Chorus)

You're racing for tomorrow, not finished with today
Would you be happier if you were someone together
Would the sun shine brighter if you played a bigger part
Would you be wonderful if it wasn't for the weather
I think you're gonna be just fineWould we be happier if we were someone together

(Chorus)

Don't worry baby Gonna be just fine
Don't worry honey Gonna be just fine
Don't worry baby Gonna be just fine

Tips

Today is Tuesday, and I was expected to give a short introductory talk about a topic that was assigned by the Professor. I had a topic of the defense mechanisms of the algae. And although I had the points were very much at grasp. But, seriously, you are very much intimidated to give a speech in front of the native speakers, who could fill any gaps of words without even thinking about it.

It was a Com-B class and the class requires some sort of oral presentation be done. And the Prof forbids any use of any powerpoint presentation. But you are allowed to bring in some items for display and also make a cardboard presentation or sort. ITs like a show and tell.So, I thought to myself, why don't I just teach in front. I am kinda used to teaching, really.

I had the points laid out that night. And I had asked my house-mate Ifq to be the sole audience. And Ifq had some great suggestions on how to succeed in giving a public speech. By the way Ifq had gone through several phases of English presentation cause he is required to fulfil them. Just be yourself! And its really good to have some sort of attention grabber when you start to give your speech like, a joke, anecdote and sort. A joke works best.Grab the points and speak. And if you hold on the paper you bring, there will be no flow and you'll get stuck he says.

I tried a couple of times speaking in front of Ifiq. Making mistakes,stuttering, leaving gaps of my sentences, but making sure to finish off my speech before Ifq gave comments. I found that, I gave a better speech when I was not imagining myself giving a speech to a group, but to just , solely to Ifq. It gets so much better, smoother and personalized. It gets way much better when you had your speech personalized. You are naturally warm, confident and feeling energized and passionate. Just like an audience would like it. Target one audience, and talk as though you are speaking to only one. But keep your eyes to all. Tricky aint it.

The points that I might be giving here, might not be all perfect in a strict sense, but it has helped me. Thanks Ifq, I really appreciate it.

Iftar and Tarawikh

Blogging does not necessarily means that you have to lash out your pent up frustrations. Sometimes your frustrations may not necessarily be put in words for the public to read, especially if it will make readers feel somewhat misinterpreted and cause such unrepairable damages. Lets not go there.

Last Sunday, has somewhat left me a smile in my heart. The Malaysian Muslim Organization here had organized an iftar feast (breaking of fast) and also tarawikh prayers at the Engineering Center here. And its about time that the new freshman and newly arrived sophomores come and meet their seniors. The MSD officials were there also. As usual, Khrl did all the cooking with the help of the ever willing and helpful new sophomores and freshmen (wink). Hehe

I arrived just in time for Iftar. Khrl cooked 'ayam masak merah', acar, and dalca. It was alright. But the real purpose of the gathering is to bring forth the ukhuwah and silaturrahim. Its so nice to see such crowd of people wearing the traditional Baju Melayu and Baju Kurung. Well, its been a while.

After iftar, we were entertained with the slideshows of the current MSA students. Next came the tarawikh. I might say that, it was so touching that the tarawikh was conducted by our community. It is so much different from the ones being done at the Islamic Center , cause we had the selawat to fill in the gaps between the prayers. Makes you feel really, warm and so much at home. It was enlightening.

We had only 8 rakaats and then the imam, Ustad Wan, lead the witir prayers. How convenient. Ustad Wan then gave us some, tazkirah. Whoa, its really been a while since I heard any lectures in Malay. And it makes you kinda, to be immensely driven into it. Well I was actually, I was kinda amazed but also touched by the talk. Every part of it was, important and highly interesting.

I left the Engineering Center feeling really enlightened, contented inside and out. I really enjoyed that Sunday night. Alhamdulillah.

12 Steps to the Power of Intention

I was flipping through the channels that day when I saw this program that caught my attention. The presenter had talked about thinking about having things that you wish, and acting as though you had it already. And how, you have to get close to your real source of energy. A person not what you are now, or have become by your upbringing, but just the natural state as if you were just created (by Allah). It really sparked my interest and I kept on watching.

Here are some of the pointers of the talk of the 12 Steps to the Power of Intention.

1. Want more of others what you want for yourself
If you lack love, peace, want to seek, ask more for them, than you want for yourself

2. Think for the End
Imagine yourself, surrounded with the people you love
See yourself addiction free
Picture of your favourite yellow car that you always wanted
Instant knowing and awareness act as it is already there
Its the awareness it is already there

3. To be an appreciator in life
Look for what is valuable in your life, instead of what you don't have
Appreciator- adds more value


4. Stay in rapport in source energy.

5. Resistance-know your resistance ideas
Every unkind thought
Every unkind words
It won't happen, everything that you believe won't happen

6. Contemplate yourself with the surrounding u want to produce
-Being near the source

7. Understand the art success is allowing the path of least resistance
-go against the odds

8. Practise radical humility
-you are not your possession
-you are not your family
-you are not your career
-practise humility

9. Be in constant state of gratitude
-be generous and grateful from the infinite source

10. Keep in mind U can't resolve a problem by condemning it
-U can't shame your way in

11. Play the match game
I am a field initiator

12. Meditation
Be connected to the source. I would say that in the context of us , is to have a deep and khusyuk prayer.
Everthing in life comes in dichotomy, except silence, you can't cut silence in half

1st day of Class

Today's the first day of class. And the classes that I registered for this semester are Limnology and Algae.

The class in Limnology was huge. The Prof said that there are about 165 students enrolled for the class. And I see that most of them are like sophomores. Wearing like, sporting gears as if they wanted to go to the track straight after class. Hmm can't blame them, when you got winter thats so bad that make you covered in layers of clothing with only your eyes to spare, who wouldn't want to expose themselves if they had the chance. Its summer time! Bask in the sun!
Anyways, the class was huge and it had 3 TAs.

Next was the Algae class. The Prof couldn't make it cause she was suppose to undergo a knee surgery tomorrow. So the class was presented a multimedia presentation of her lecture.It was crisp clear , and as if she was there. And for next week , we had to identify an 'unknown' algae species and also make a short oral presentation about the various different topics assigned for us.

Directly after class was the lab for Algae. And the TA looked like a girl next door, small framed, , with glasses, cute and innocently geek-like, until she spoke. OMG, could she spoke. I think that she spoke non-stop from the class stated at 1.20 until 3.00pm. OMG How could anyone speak that much. Its like, she was on a machine or something. And it turned out that she was in the debate team when she did her undergrad. And she majored in Biology and also French language. She explained everything, and has she good vocabs to spare. And she went through everything. Such as reminding us to 'leave our attitudes at the door of the class' and 'i expect you to behave like adults'. And also she went through every little detail on the microscope. Amazing.

I still had to do some background reading before Thursday. Chapters 1 & 2. Besides the Limnology background reading.

May Allah bless you guys during Ramadhan.

Ramadhan

Hari ni hari pertama Ramadhan di perantauan.
Pagi tadi I dikejutkan jam pada pukul 4.00 pagi. Masak sayur campur sikit. Dan makan dgn nasi dan ada ayam goreng KFC halal yang sahabat belikan di Chicago.

Hari ni tak buat apa-apa. Melainkan duduk di rumah. Petang tadi saya ingin meninjau ke Asian market tapi tutup pulak jam 5.00 memandangkan hari ni Labor day. 1 September 2008.

Hari ni giliran housemate saya, si Ifq tu masak. Dia masak ayam black pepper dan sayur campur. Boleh tahan gak si Ifq tu masak. Sedap. Walaupun ada perencah black pepper Maggi tu, tapi dia alter gak, dia letak cili 'sambal olek', sos tiram, dan black pepper. Ayam tu tidak digoreng terlebih dahulu, tapi terus di masak dengan kuah black pepper tu , bila kuah tu kering, air ditambah. Satu lagi menu ialah, omelette yang diletak hirisan cendawan , parmesan cheese, susu dan garam. Wow. Sedap gak resepi Ifiq ni.

Kami makan berdua aje. Sebab sorang lagi housemate makan dengan teman2 sophomore di rumah yang lain.

Lepas makan, saya dan Ifq berbasikal ke Islamic Center untuk bertarawikh.Lebih kurang 20 minit gak berbasikal. Kat sini Pak2 Arab mengimamkan. Hati terfikir, beruntungnya jadi Pak Arab sebab boleh menghayati setiap ayat2 Al Quran itu. Dan mendengar maksudnya. Hmm. Elok gak kalau I belajar Bahasa Arab untuk mengukuhkan pemahaman lagi.

Ada berita gembira- Sama-samalah kita berdoa yea

Ada berita gembira I dapat semalam.
Berdasarkan police report, mengatakan bahawa kereta #1 kami tidak patut dipersalahkan.

Kereta #2 patut di persalahkan kerana tidak memberi laluan kepada kereta kami. Seperti kata orang di Enterprise tu, sekiranya benar kereta #2 bersalah, maka, secara legally, kereta #2 harus dipertanggungjawabkan untuk membayar kerosakan kedua-dua kereta yang terbabit. Itu la proses legal /undang-undang bagi kes sebegini.
Alhamdulilah manager Enterprise tu pun, berbesar hati tidak mem'black list'kan nama I dari menyewa kereta dari Enterprise, sebab dia merasakan bahawa I pun tidak bersalah, dan sememangnya ini hanya kejadian yang pertama untuk I.

Hanya doa dari kawan-kawan kami harapkan.

Agar proses claim insurance kereta #2 dipermudahkan. Dan kami di pihak yang tidak bersalah ni tidak harus membayar apa-apa kerosakan pada kedua-dua kereta.
Amin.

Korang doala yea.
Amin

Rabu Aug 27 2008

I tgh mendengar lagu Takdir-Opick. Best gak lagu ni
Di saat saat tension ni lagu ni memang menyedarkan kita. Sapa kita . Begitu kerdil di tangan Tuhan.
Hari ni tension betul. Dan since takde kerja kat jabatan. I kat umah je. Melayan tension I. I banyakkan berehat je hari ni.

Petang tadi I g jogging. Kasi adrenalin sikit. Baru la badan pun sihat.

Tapi otak I ni kalau tension mesti nak g ke situ .Mengingatkan si dia. Dan teringatkan si dia. Tapi hakikatnya dah abadi dan kekal bahawasanya dia hanya menganggap I sebagai kawan sahaja. Mengapa nak ingat lagi ek. Takde u-turn dalam kehidupan. Masuk gear dan bergerak ke hadapan.
Ntah la. Kalau tension je. Sure terkenangkan dia nya. Itu automatic dalam otak ni.

Tapi padahal the real masalah is here.
I am involved in the accident. I dah dapat dah surat laporan polis ni. Hmm takutnya. Cemana nak menghadapi masa hadapan sebab masalah accident ni.

Korang doakanla I yea. Agar dipermudahkan proses urusan accident ni. Agar I takyah nak bayar kos2 yang sepatutnya memang syarikat besar macam Enterprise ni tanggung. Bukannya orang2 yang macam kami ini. Surat laporan polis dah mengatakan bahawa kami tak bersalah. Amin.
Harap2 la orang yang bersalah tu dapat tanggung kerosakan kedua dua kereta kami ini. I mean pihak insurans orang yang bersalah tu.
Amin.

Takdir (Qada dan qadar)

Opick Feat. Melly Goeslaw - Takdir

Dihempas gelombang dilemparkan angin
Terkisah ku bersedih ku bahagia
Di indah dunia yang berakhir sunyi
Langkah kaki di dalam rencana Nya

Semua berjalan dalam kehendak Nya
Nafas hidup cinta dan segalanya

dan tertakdir menjalani segala kehendakmu Ya Robbi
kuberserah kuberpasrah hanya padamu ya robbi
dan tertakdir menjalani segala kehendakmu ya robbi
ku berserah ku berpasrah hanya padamu ya robbi

bila mungkin ada luka coba tersenyumlah
bila mungkin tawa coba bersabarlahkarena air mata tak abadi
akan hilang dan berganti ( hilang kan berganti )

Bila mungkin hidup hampa dirasa
Mungkinkan hati rindukan Dia
Karena hanya dengan Nya hati tenang
Damai jiwa dan raga




crashedby the waves
thrown by the wind
separated
saddened
enlightened

in the amazement of the world
which ended ever in the loneliness
every step of the foot has been written by Him
everything is moving with his accordance
breath of life love and everything

It has been destined
To undergo everything you wish Ya Rabbi
I obey
I submit
Only to you Ya Rabbi

Whenever there is pain
Try your best to smile
Whenever theres laughter try your best to be patient
Cause tears are non-everlasting
It will come and go

Whenever life felt sore
Could it be that your heart is missing Him
Because only with Him the heart finds peace
Mind and soul serenity

Life must go on & Orientation

Life must go on. There are things that might be learnt from this accident that happen.
Such as:

* Plan your trip ahead. And have some time for relax or buffer zone.
* Make sure you are covered with insurance all the way, even if you have to pay more.
* Add additional drivers for car rental, otherwise, there is no use of opting for the car insurance.
* Believe in your self when you have doubts about the trip.
* If you have negative thoughts about the trip, then just lookout for the worse, anticipate and ask. What is the worse thing that could happen? And how do I deal with it. Make constructive judgments.IT WILL HELP.
* Ask yourself what are your priorities?
* What of I go on with this trip? How do I feel? What do I do there? Will it make me feel happy? And what if I do not go on this trip? How would I feel? What will I do back here? Will it make me feel happy?

Like for me, I did anticipate that something would go wrong, but I didn't make backup plans to deal with the problems that may arise. Hence when something did go wrong, I was left there in the open. Like an open target.


***********
Yesterday was Monday.
Since the trip was canceled, I was able to go for the Department's Orientation. I was not formally introduced to the Faculty Members when I first got here in Madison. The lecturer's are not always around the department anyways if I were to go and meet them one by one. This time it is orientation and that means the lecturers have to make time to meet the new Grad students.

The orientation has two parts, the Monday slot and the Tuesday slot. On Wednesday, they are having a picnic. Fun!
By the tour that was done yesterday, I found that the Department has some really good and multimillion dollars worth of equipments. And I never knew this before.Yesterday, I was introduced to the confocal, laser, electron and some other microscopes that I haven't seen before. And If people would ask me 'are the equipments in the USA better than the ones in Malaysia?' . I would definitely say yes to that. Our department holds the Biological Imaging Center. That is one of the keywords that I would say.

The herbarium is also extensive. It is one of the largest in the Nation. All of the samples were cataloged successfully last summer. And we were told to make full use of it.

They are only 6 new grad students this Fall 08.

Accident

An accident happened. That involved our car. They (the students) say that's its alright, they will be able to drive and they are expert drivers. But apparently accident happened. It was so confusing. I wanted to go to NYC but there are responsibilities too at hand. It was once a year trip. And trips were only conducted on summer. My lab mate said that I should go cause, its when you are in your first year that you could go for such trips. Cause later you would be busy. I should have seen the signs. My heart was so heavy on this trip. The seniors who drove the car will always drove themselves. Its IMPORTANT to cover yourself with insurance. Maybe its 5,000 /7 person. And its 714 for each of us? SIgh. And I used my Msian credit card and Msian drivers licence. I need to work. That could be the budget to go to NYC. There goes our trip money. Things happen. WE SHOULD LEARN FROM THIS. We're here in Ohio. We should be heading back to Madison today. Alhamdulilah, kami betolak dari Ohio pukul 3.00 petang dan tiba di Madison pukul 3.00 pagi tadi. Setelah berhenti untuk membeli bekalan ayam halal zabihah di Chicago. (disuatu kawasan yang seolah2 area masjid India). Dan juga setelah menikmati nasi beriyani pada harga usd5.00 sahaja. Setelah sampai, saya telah menghantar kawan2 untuk mereka kembali ke Illinois ke stesyen bas berdekatan. Kembali pada cerita. Macam gini lah, kalau dari segi kesalahan, orang yang keluar dari stesyen minyak tu bersalah. Sebab kereta kami berjalan pada lampu hijau dan bukan laju pun kereta kami tu. Tapi dari segi undang2 kami dah melanggar kontrak dgn kedai sewa kereta sebab membenarkan orang lain selain yang dibenarkan untuk membawa kereta. Ini bermakna segala insurans untuk melindungi kereta kami telah terbatal. Kami semua pemegang biasiswa kerajaan aje. Cuma minta jasa baik pembaca supaya, mendoakan kami. Seboleh2 nya agar insurans menanggung segala ganti rugi kerugian. Takpun, separuh dari kerugian yang sepatutnya kami tanggung. Yang rosak adalah lampu kiri dan bumper kiri. Dan yang dilanggar pula tayar punya alignment. Saya tidak dapat bayangkan berapa kos yang harus kami tanggung. Sebab di sini, labor charges adalah amat mahal. Sesungguhnya amat perit untuk ditanggung. Kejadian sebegini menyebabkan kita kembali muhasabah diri. Nak kata tak baca doa, doa dah baca. Saya suka amalkan zikir. Pada setiap kali kereta bergerak. Cuma pada pagi tu aje, yang saya tidak membaca zikir sebab saya terlalu penat. Tiba di Ohio jam 3.30 pagi. Bersiap2 dan pukul 4.00 bertolak. Subuh pada pukul 5.30 dan kami bercadang untuk solat subuh dalam perjalanan. Seharusnya setelah tiba di destinasi setelah bertolak pukul 3.00 ptgdan tiba pukul 3.00 pagi di Ohio, seharusnya kami memberikan masa untuk berehat seketika dan tunggu dahulu untuk solat subuh sebelum bergerak. Mungkin pemandu begitu, tidak sabar dan mahu tiba di destinasi secepat mungkin. Dan ada 4-5 destinasi lagi selepas sampai di Canada. Mungkin terlalu banyak benda yang bermain di fikiran pemandu itu. Kami seharusnya bermuhasabah diri. Apa kesilapan kita yang lalu telah kita lakukan. Mungkin disini, saya tidak memberikan emphasis kepada apa yang lebih penting. Atau pun saya terlalu mempercayakan orang tanpa mempedulikan keselamatan saya sendiri. Itu amat bahaya. So korang semua doakan kami ye, agar bala ini diangkat dari kami semua dan kami tidak payah membayar ganti rugi insurans kereta kami itu. Amin. Solat hajat dan doa sahaja harapan kami.

A new house (cleaned up)

I'm here at my new house. Well I should congratulate myself actually for organizing the whole kitchen, not to mention cataloging a ton of my housemates a year old food stuff (not to mention my own) into the respective places in the endless cabinets of the house. And today also I have managed to organize my room and made it spick and span. Hehe. Today new freshmen came, they are from JPA sponsorship and they came in a 2+3 program here in Madison. They might be staying at our house for a couple of days, hence, the abrupt and hectic house cleaning that we (the housemates) endured ourselves to. And some JPA and MSD officials came too. Our new house has no internet connection, and right now I am kinda 'borrowing' some other house's wireless connection. Its so bad, that I'm in and out of the YM. The internet and cable tv came as a bundle provided by Charter. And our housemate has an account, its just that we've so, they had to set it up again. Today at the lab, I had visitors from the Engineering School. A professor and his student.They wanted to see the set up of the algae culture room and my SV has given me the honour of explaining about the culture room. And next I was to explain about the culture flasks, and the products from the algae. Hmm, it seemed that everybody's doing the algae. I wonder what sets me apart from them? Experience, knowledge and plain old luck I guess(green fingers??). In this world of competitive science, I still haven't catch up on how people would advise another people on the science of stuff and still be doing it, without ever , another person taking their research. Maybe, I will learn it in time. Hey, maybe I won't. In the old University where I worked, it has always been competitive. And scientist are data stingy. And they only share with whom they will collaborate with. And I do not see this as a healthy culture. Scientist should be able to share, cooperate and also enrich themselves by collaboration, and at the same time, not losing the knowledge or information to another. Maybe, I will learn it in time. Hey, maybe I won't. Time will tell.

Moving

It's Friday afternoon here in Madison. And I am waiting for my fellow friends to call me to help me move in to a new place today. They rented the U-haul from 12 pm till 6 pm today. And I wonder if they have missed me. I called them and in fact that they are on their way.

Its a peculiar thing here in Madison where you lease ends on 14th August, 12pm and you have to move out of your house but, you do not move in to your new house until the next day 15th of August. Strange isn't it? Where exactly do you stay on the night of August 14th? Nowhere I tell you. You are basically homeless for one day!

For my friends and I we have to camp at a friends house. Such a hassle! And remember, I just arrived the day before! I arrived on the evening of Thursday August 13th, had time to breathe and eat for a couple of hours and next, pack my things up to move tomorrow! Add jet lag to the equation!

For me, I packed things up till 12 midnight, then it gets too much that I had to go to sleep for a while and around 3.30 I woke up and continued packing. And around 5 o'clock I finished packing. Next ! time to haul things up the truck!

It seemed that the storage where most of the Malaysian store their stuff temporarily is almost full and they wanted me to store my stuff for one night at my lab. So, I said yes.

People here are courteous, when they saw me hauling things at the Department and one staff, helped me by bringing me a cart. That was so thoughtful! So all of my stuff are here at the lab. And I am still waiting for my friends(new housemates) to bring in the U-haul truck.

Delay in Narita

Today's Wed Aug 13 2008. I'm in the plane NW12 going to Detroit, MI. Although duration of the flight is 12 hours, the plane will leave at 4.15pm, it will arrive at the same day Wednesday at 4.34pm in Michigan.And to make it easy , we could just based it on Malaysian time, it is now 3.15pm Wed and I'll be arriving on Thursday 5.30 am.

Whatever it is, I am sure to doze off for at least 6 hours. And also since it is 2 am in Madison, it is 4 pm in Narita Airport Tokyp and I love seeing people work outside of this terminal. You know it feels healthy working in the sun. Perspiration makes you so healthy. It really perks you up. Daylight :work, Nightime:sleep. It is so normal to be like that. Hehe. What's the fuss you may ask? Well, I would answer that imagine yourself being in a topsy turvy world in a couple of hours. Its the jet lag. I'm gonna have to work when the body clock's saying me to sleep and I'm going have to sleep when the body's ticking rise and shine. Its gonna take me a couple of days to get used to it. I know.And as they say, you need to go out into the sun as much as possible, to help to encounter the jetlag. Appreciate the sunset and at night, sleep!

Being a student overseas is sure tough. Jet lag, clock adjustment, immigration, food and study at the same time.I'm going have to adapt adapt and adapt. What will help though is to visualize the success feeling I shall have when the time comes for me to finish my labwork, the preliminaries tests, courses and defense for my PhD. Yup, after being 'all but dissertator' status like Shn said.

What I really wish is to instill in me the research culture that the scientists in the states have. I need to really feel the research that I am doing. In doing so, not only I will gain satisfaction and pleasure in finishing the research and do journal writing but more than that is cultivating the research culture for future students in Malaysia to be interested in research and helping in creative writing of journals. I feel the researches in the States read the journal paper excitingly, reading each and every word. And just by using a certain word, it puts the whole meaning of the research to a different emphasis and impact. This fascinates me a lot. For as long as I have read the literature articles, they are no more monotonous than reading the daily newspaper.

I also think that I need to instill in me the reading as a pleasure as a hobby. So that ways of expressing oneself through creative writing are explored and messages are expressed thoroughly and accurately as possible. Reading as a hobby, frankly speaking has not catched on to me. Usually I read for motivational and religious purposes, and sometimes novels. (Nicholas Sparks-A walk to remember:very touching!).

It is 4.15 Narita time, and the Captain of the plane has informed that there have been some problems with the maintenance of the engine. And it end up at arougn 5.15 the plane leaves for Detroit.

Stranded 6 hours in Singapore

Today is another journey for me. To go back to reality back to Madison. And right now I am in Singapore. It is a quarter to 2 am on a Wednesday morning. And my next flight will be at 6 am. I am once again alone. This time it is for real. I do not feel anything, I feel numb. The same feeling that I have when I went to Madison 8 months ago. Now the feeling is the same, its just that, without any feeling at all of love to anyone. Donot mind me, its just the heart talking. I wanted it so bad. I wanted it to happen and in the way being blind and neglecting my own happiness. I am glad that the almighty has given me the insight. The little thing that you have done has opened my eyes to the reality of life. I am strewn across the ground. Feeling sorry for myself.I could lie to myself, I could pretend that there are no problems at all. But I'd be deceiving myself. A friend is just a friend, and a special one is another. What is in my mind right now? I wish that the trip back to Madison is a smooth one without any problems. And I wish that I could finish my degree in time. And I wish that this experience being overseas will enhance me as a scientist, a colleague a fellow friend and also as a human being. There are more things in life, than material wealth. My mom cried again this time. As usual, and surprisingly both my mum and dad apologized to me. And I did apologize to them for all the wrong doings that I have done. And especially, that Ramadan's coming and its time for forgiveness. My mom's the type that usually does not show love in the open, but usually hides them. And dad, hmm he gave a lot of priority to his favourite grandson. Maybe its true, you have to have enough love for yourself then only it is enough to give love away. Thats my two cents (or somebody elses' ). Would somebody please love me?

Hectic Monday

Today is really hectic day for me. First I have to go to UM to return the robe for convocation. And then I also wanted to see my ex supervisor to express my gratitude for supervising me all these years. And as I called him, he made a special request for me to wear the robe and take a picture with him. And so , I agreed. I arrived in UM around 1.00 o'clock. A multitasking person, my SV, he had meeting with another lecturer and 2 master students while I prepared myself with the robe. After taking pictures with him, we went downstairs to meet with YongShin and snapped some more pictures. Next I see Arpah and snapped some more pictures. This time, less formal and more fun. Hehe, then with Azlan and Sarinder. I said goodbye and parted to UPM. After settled things in UPM, off I go to KLIA to pick up my bro whos here to see me and also coincidentally he had a course next week .So he took a week off. On the way back, we had a drink with Bae at Maulana Cafe. I had nasi lemak with cockle rendang while my bro had maggie goreng mamak. He said it was rare for that type of food in Sarawak. It was so nice of Bae to accompany us for tea, while he was also fasting  at that day. We went home after that. I asked my bro to drive since I was kinda exhausted. For Isyak, my dad wanted to go to the mosque for Jemaah, so at around 10 we headed to Giant to buy some groceries that I want to bring back to Madison. Around 11.00 we arrived home, and Giant closes at 11.00. And I felt so hot, I wanted to take a shower right away, but my mum wanted me to eat the chicken rendang she prepared. So, not wanting to hurt her feelings, obligingly I eat. Next I have to pack my things. See ya. Wasalam

Volleyball and sup meletup

Today, it was Hishamuddin's idea that we all got together to play volleyball at the Cheras Technical Institute. And today has not been a real fine day for me. The plan was that I were to go to this Dr Rizal's dental clinic for scaling my teeth. I wanted to go on Friday, but my mom suggested that I went on Sunday instead. And it seemed that on Sunday, the clinic is only open by appointment. So much frustation , when I found it out. And then, my dad was kind enough to accompany me to search for a dental clinic that opens on Sunday. And we found this clinic situated right next to McD. And the thing is the clinic charged RM150 for scaling, whereas in Dr Rizal's clinic only charges RM50. That was too much for me. And I agreed cause my dad says its on him. The clinic was bad too, cause, the Dr only did the cleaning of my teeth on a very short period of time, and he skipped the brushing part. I mean,like what kind of service is he giving. That was terrible. And as I asked my dad for the money, he wanted compensation. So , I agreed. Another thing that went wrong today. The afternoon was alright. My sis did mentioned that she was moving out. And I spend most of my afternoon chatting on YM. The plan for the afternoon was, after my younger sister left for UITM, then me and Azam would go to Carrefour. But then around 3pm Hishamuddin texted, asking me to join the guys in playing volleyball. It was such a splendid idea indeed. I agreed instantaneously. It is not tha often that all of us could get have a get together like this. Around 5 pm, me and Azam left for MPT. Driving in the MPT, just gives me the shudders. I remembered 2006. I remembered everything. It was like walking in back in time. There was K, Din, Sapari, Hishamudin, Fazli, Madan, new friends, Azmi and Rahman. I had fun .Seeing you guys again, together is really precious to me. And I love playing volleyball with you guys at the Maktab Perguruan Teknik Cheras cause it gives such sweet memories back in 2006. It was different playing with the guys, cause you got to be yourself. No pretending, everybody knows everybody and everybody is free to be themselves. Shrieking all around! :) Then, after Maghrib prayers, we went to Sup Meletop.The fun starts when Ramadan started talking, and Sapari would add to it. The fun is endless. Hahaha. Khairuddin treated us all dinner, since his birthday is around the corner. Thanks Din, hope that you will be granted more rezeki in the future! And all my dear friends I wish you guys all the luck in the world, and may you guys improve in time to come.

Saw versus Kitchen knife

When you think that you need a saw to cut a PVC pipe, it seemed that a kitchen knife works as well.

Things may become hard as you wish for it to be. I learned this when I try to think of taking with me the gifts my friends have given me for my Convocation last Tuesday August 05, 2008. The gifts were attached to this PVC pipe by the rear. The plastic pipe is stuck in the asses of the fluffy toys and glued.(disula) So, to separate the toys from the pipe is actually in a process of destroying them. So, I figured it is best to just let them be, and to just cut the plastic pipe to a minimum length.
Thank you guys for attending my convocation. I really appreciate it. And my dad was even more surprised that you guys turned up.

I might say that, in life, you might think that you have to have/acquire a special apparatus to solve a new problem, when actually what you need is , a thing that you already have. And you do not see this, only after you found out that , the apparatus didnot work as well.

Thank you

I've been most unwilling to see this turmoil of mine
The thought of sitting with this has me paralyzed
With this prolong exposure to mirror and averted eyes
I've feigned that I've been waiting: such mileage for empathizing

[Chorus]
And now I see the madness in me is brought out in the presence of you
And now I know the madness lives on, when you're not in the room
And though I'd love to blame you for all, I'd miss these moments of opportune
You've simply brought this madness to light and I should thank you
Oh thank you, much thanks for this bird's eye view
Oh thank you for your most generous triggers
It's been all too easy to cross my arms and roll my eyes
The thought of dropping all arms leaves me terrified

[Chorus]

I'd have to give up knowing and give up being right
You inadvertent hero, you angel in disguise

[Chorus]

Meaning of Life

This is one of the songs that I really liked because of its lyrics. The tune is so aweseome and yet maintains its cultural richness of the Malay.
It was from a friends blog that I realize, that the song means so much more than the melody and rhythms. I want to share with you guys about this song the "Meaning of Life"

Dayang Nurfaizah - Erti Hidup

Angin kau membawa bahteraku kemana mahumu…

Dikamar daku sering bertanya
Mana tempatku di dunia
Tepuk dada tanyalah selera

Jika daku ingin berjasa
Memberikan hidupku makna
Tepuk dada tanyalah selera

Tiba waktu aku tiada
Tidak akan daku sesali
Daku hidup caraku sendiri

(Korus)
Inginku(kiniku) mengenali
Erti hidup yang diberi
Dunia jadi saksi
Liku-likukan ku harungi oh…

Tidak lagi kan aku disitu
Menyaksikan kehidupan berlalu
Kan ku kerah darah keringatku

Tiba waktu aku tiada
Tidak akan daku sesali
Daku hidup caraku sendiri

Angin kan ku bawa bahteraku
Kemana majuku
Kini ku berani mengemudi
Kemana ku pergi

Bagai guruh bergegar bumi
Aku tetap teguh berdiri
Penuh pengorbanan yang sejati

27 hour flight from Madison to Singapore July 8,9 and 10, 2008

Salam semua,

Saya kini berada di Changi airport setelah mengharungi perjalanan yang melebihi 25 jam saya bertolak ke madison airport lebih kurang kul 9.00 hari selasa dan kini sudah pukul 12 tgahri di Madison.Perjalanan yang amat memenatkan untuk pulang ke tanah air yang dicintai. Walaupun penat tapi memang berbaloi perjalanku kali ini. Tujuanku kembali ke tanahairku adalah untuk menyemarakkan semangat bersyukur atas satu kejayaan besar di dalam hidupku iaitu Konvokesyen Sarjana. Insya Allah harap2 ianya akan berjalan lancar dan proses menghantar dokumen2 yang penting ke tempat kerjaku itu dapat di jalankan dengan sempurna.

Prayer Times
I have arrived here in Singapore. And as I sat on the plane for 12 hours, I did notice that the sun never actually sets outside our window panels. This was because we were flying against the rotation of the earth. And after we reached Tokyo and about 6.30 local Tokyo time, did I saw the sun slowly set. Another confusing thing is the prayer time. I thought that I wanted to stick to Minneapolis prayer times strictly during flights. So I prayed Jamak Qasar Zuhr-Asar about 3 pm Minne time, and around 9pm Minne time, I prayed Mghrib-Isyak. But as I arrived in Tokyo, the sun hadn't set yet. And that makes me confused. There wasn't an actual Maghrib during flight.Anyways, during the Tokyo-Spore flight, I prayed Mghrib-Isyak again.

Perjalanan dari Minneapolis St Paul ke Tokyo mengambil masa 12 jam. Tapi yang seronoknya ialah melayan betah teman yang duduk di sebelah kiriku seorang student Korean-American yang tidak henti2 berceloteh sepanjang perjalanan. Dan slanga Americannya itu, amat menakjubkan padaku, suatu hari kelak aku juga akan memilikinya hehe.InsyaAllah. Di sebelah kananku pula adalah seorang IranianAustralian yang resides in Sydney, but just coming to America for a holiday of about 20 days.

I had this terrible seat actually, the middle part of the 4 seats in a 747. And luckily the girl was so outspoken and chatty. And it was a blessing.
And I sat in 60E. And there are no personal LCD screens for our seats, but we had jeer and peek at the screen in front of us, and listening to the audio with the 'cheap' , headsets that was given. I saw 'fools gold'. The plot was interesting , but the direction was off. It had the most interesting bits to an exciting movie, but the movie does not project it well. In contrast to the next movie that I saw, 'the other boleyn girl', now this movie, the plot was you know, on and off but, still with the camera and the direction it was simply superb. I am talking from a person who does not or never watches English history movies.


The trip from Tokyo to Singapore takes about 7 hours, and its a boring flight cause the person sat next to me was totally 'mute' in other words he did not speak at all. He was clad in a business suit and jeans and wears a 'kinda' gold rolex. But this flight was entertaining cause we had in seat entertainment, our very own LCD screens. And I chose to watch, Nim's Island. Shortly after that, I dozed off.

Muslim Meal
The muslim meal that I requested has its good and bad points. The good point is, you get your food first from all the other passengers. But the bad point is that, with beans and salads as replacement for the real proteins that you need, you feel nauseated, especially in a 12 hour flight. Luckily the muslim meal that I received in the Tokyo-Singapore flight was roasted chicken. Thank Allah.

Its about 1.38 am in Spore, but I wasn't feeling sleepy at all. Cause I was so used to the USA time, its actually midday there.
And I have 3 more hours to go before the Mas counter opens in Terminal 2.

Madison Airport July 08, 08

Usually I am not the type of person who likes to grumble. And a bad thing that has happened to me, will all be discarded from my memory. But, since I am at the airport waiting for about an hour and a half. And with internet access, it would be ' appropriate' for me to report what I have endured for the duration of my half and hour.
Nothing to do..but to just pour my heart out.

The airport staff. Well how mean she could be. A female staff of the Northwest airlines was kinda rude and wanted to take control over everything. You know the redneck type of girl. Shes a woman actually.

'you forgot to unlock your bag'
"you forgot to unlock the other bag'
as she came in again for my assistance.
I was at the cafe, when the red wearing uniform woman asks me to unlock Mashitah's bag. Well she is stern and mean looking. And another 10 minutes she comes again this time not carrying any bag with her, but to gesture for me to follow her to unlock another bag. Complaining that it was locked.

When I first came in the airport, Psang had already told me about a staff of the Northwestern Airlines that..

Hai korang, I kat airport ni sensorang, dah kul
Beginila ceritanya, aku sampai2 kat airport tu cuak2 gak aa..pastu aku dah seronok lak dengar cerita Psang yang dia ada sekali terlepas sebab dia tak yah kena charge sebab overweight aku dah siap pasang angan2 la dia tak charge overweight tu. Pastu sampai2. Psang kata haa.kalau dapat minah yang jaga kaunter sure dia overcharge, tapi kalau dapat mamat laki, sure dia tak charge. Aku sampai2 tu, nampak ada minah kaunter ni, dia pakai uniform merah Western Union, kecoh tul. Sebab depan dia ada lebih kurang 6 orang India.

Pastu aku g kaunter yang ada mamat org putih yang jaga, dia suruh check in kat mesin e-ticket tu, aku pun g la, aku try masuk no confimation> tak dapat cuba berapa kali. Mamat kaunter laki tu bukan nak tolong dia sibuk dengan orang lain. Tup tup ..korang tau, datang lak makcik tu minah kepoh tu. Alamak. dia dah tolong lak. Aku pun biar jelah..dia suruh swipe passport aku, try tak dapat, dia try pun takdapat. Pastu dia kata yang mesin tu kgkadang ada masalah. So, dia swipe passport aku kat mesin sebelah, okay. Pastu dia letak baggage aku. Dia timbang yang pertama 45 pounds, baggage kedua 61 pounds. So, kira excess baggage la, dia suruh keluarkan 20 pound tu letak kat beg lain. Aku malas lak. sebab beg aku untuk dipegang, ada beg camel tu dah sendat sesendatnya..aku letak barang2 paling berat kat situ. Kasut2 aku, jeans, purse2 semua letak kat beg camel tu, pastu satu lagi beg ialah beg aku bawak kat belakang tu= beg laptop. Aku fikir haiyo penat la aku nak bawak lagi satu beg.
> sebab plannya ialah aku kena keluarkan baggage waktu kat Singapore.
Argh tak larat la..dah la ada 2 beg yang besar

me: i kat airport
A: yep
A: owh
me: tunggu lagi sejam
A: dah masok dah?>
A: kau kene baya ak?
me: dah masuk dah
me: kena bayar usd50
me: minah tu kecoh la
A: haha
me: ada ke dia mula2 suruh aku bayar usd150
A: konpem a kene
A: apsal
me: entah dia
me: pastu aku cakap la korang kena usd50 jer
me: aku tunggu dia baca2
me: dia baca2 sampai abis
me: baru dia kata usd50
me: lega la aku
A: haha
me: siut tul minah tu
me: aku dah la pasang angan2 tadi..pisang kata kalau mamat mat saleh ..dia tak kisah ..boleh lepas je
me: tapi aku dpat minah saleh tu..kecoh tul
A: haha
me: satu beg 45 ,satu lagi berat 61
A: oooo
me: so ala ala dia nak charge satu, overweight, aku tak la keluarkan barang
A: mmg ah
A: kan aku dah ckp
me: minah tu suruh i keluarkan barang letak beg lain
A: haha
me: tapi beg carryon aku pun dah sendat sesendatnya
me: beg laptop pun takde ruang
me: ko tau bila aku bayar usd50 tu dia kata apa
me: 'feeling rich today , huh?'
A: biasa la gurau2
A: kamonnn
me: okay
me: aku cakap la ..i guess its worth it..
A: oo
me: pastu kan depa orang kaunter ni bukan reti nak bukak combination locks ni
me: aku dah bagi nombor tu, just tarik tepi je
me: dorang g main2 nombor lak
me: pastu datang la balik minah ni
me: dia kata beg aku berkunci
A: asal kau tak bukak tros
me: tu la pasal
me: silap aku gak
me: dorang tak reti (dumb)
me: oops
A: haha
me: pastu ingat dah settle
me: pastu lagi 5 min dia datang lagi
me: pasal satu lagi beg
me: hmm aku g bukak la
me: bukak tros
me: pastu dia perli2 aku' is it open? is it open?'
me: aku cam malas..aku cakap ' er, no..'
me: perghh macam2
A: hahaha
me: aku kena surrender visa nyer card kat minneapolis nyer aiport ek
me: senang tak nak cari homeland security tu
A: senang2
A: takpon tanya org je
me: aku nyer boarding pass aku sekeping tiket je
me: tulis semua sampai KL
A: ok a tuh
me: tu je kan takyah tukar tiket lain kan?
A: takyah
me: ok
A: same airline kan?
me: ha ah
me: kecuali sampai singapore
A: takya tuka
me: tukar mas
A: tu kau kene mintak lain nnt
me: tapi mas nyer pun ada tulis kat tiket tu
A: kau kene amik baru gak
me: yeke
me: ok
me: aku akan g kaunter mas kul 4 pagi ..katanya bukak kul 4
me: aku patut naik kul 9.55
me: tapi thomas suruh naik kul 6.55
A: try a mintak awal
A: bole je kalo tak penuh
me: thomas tu kata , aku amik luggage aku kat singapore
me: tapi minah kecoh tu kata takleh
me: aku kena biar sampai klia
me: so luggage aku sampai lambat la kot.
A: takya...kau ckp je time check in kat singapore...ckp supposedly kau naik kukl 955...nnt die akan carik beg kau kalau kau dpt 655 tu
me: oo good good
A: kau ckp kat officer tu...suh carik beg kau kalo dpt 655 nye flight
me: okay ..
me: pasal visa nyer tiket nak surrender ni
me: nak tanya kaunter apa ek
A: tanye je kat pak guard2 tu
A: dorg tau

If I ever lose my faith in you

If I ever lose my faith in you
There'd be nothing left for me to do

Some would say I was a lost man in a lost world
You could say I lost my faith in the people on TV
You could say I'd lost my belief in our politicians
They all seem like game show hosts to me

If I ever lose my faith in you
There'd be nothing left for me to do

I could be lost inside their lies without a trace
But everytime I close my eyes I see your face

I never saw no miracle of science
That didn't go from a blessing to a curse
I never saw no military solution
That didn't always end up as something worse but
Let me say this first

If I ever lose my fatih in you (If I ever lose my faith in you)
There'd be nothing left for me to do (There'd be nothing left for me to do)

If I ever lose my faith
If I ever lose my faith
If I ever lose my faith
If I ever lose my faith in you

Flying back to home

Today is Monday and I guess this will be my last entry to the blog since I am going on a plane in less than 24 hours time tomorrow. I am feeling anxious right now. At the lab, and I have successfully subcultured some of the Cladophora into the flask. I am actually waiting for Shana cause she wanted to go to lunch with me after this.

I am wondering how is it gonna be at the airport? And several uncertainties remain. I really2 pray that I wont be taxed at the KLIA. And I really hope that I won't forget to bring something. Well actually it really doesn't matter much cause, I will be back here in a month's time. My supervisor had already assigned some reading material for me to read if I wanted to in the flight.

Living in Madison

If a person would ask me how do I feel to go back to Malaysia? I will immediately say "Great! Wonderful and can't wait". and if a person would ask me how's my studies here in Wisconsin, I would say "I'm holding on here and I'm living here day by day".

Overall its been great being here. Especially the shopping I might say. But it also mostly depends on the amount that you put aside each month so that you will have the luxury of shopping. And to simply go shopping every week, hmm thats totally impossible. And I remembered when I first arrived here on a terrible cold that day, and when the folks here went for grocery shopping, I hadn't enough even to buy groceries. Cause I was saving the money just for the rent at the end of the month.

You know, it seemed that I arrived in the middle of January, which means I have to pay the January rent (full- the Regent was terrible! in terms of rent) and at the end of January another rent is coming. Actually I asked everywhere, that usually you only have to pay half months rent if you started renting on the middle of the month. But , NOPE for Regent. Thumbs down for Regent!
Plus when I had to leave the Regent on the middle of May, I had to pay a full months rent for May which doesnt make sense at all. So in total, I had to pay an extra months rent FOR NOTHING!! THANKS REGENT !


So, I have to put aside a rent for February. Here you have to pay the rent early before the start of the month. I remembered that I could only spend USD25 per week for a month,from January until April so that I could survive. You know that the government scholarship is only given on the 3rd month and the next one was due in the end of April. Imagine that! And for 3 month's amount of money, I have to fork out a 4 months' rent!. and that leads to USD100/month to eat or simply survive. How terrible! Shopping? No way!!


I would say the trip to Niagara was the farthest I have been with my friends here, so far he hehe.And It was magnificent! Wonderful Captivating, and not to mention fun too! Riding the maid of the mist (a boat that went near the falls) was fun cause you will be drenched!!

I had an experience camping with my fellow colleague, Shana, in Bailey's harbor. It was interesting to see the huge lake Michigan amidst its natural scenery.

Each day is a little life..
Reese

'Cry'

Don't Ever Tell me to Stop

Tell me love isn't true
It's just something that we do
Tell me everything I'm not
But don't ever tell me to stop


Tell the rain not to drop
Tell the wind not to blow
'Cause you said so, mmm

Tell the sun not to shine
Not to get up this time, no, no
Let it fall by the way
But don't leave me where I lay down

Tell me love isn't true
It's just something that we do
Tell me everything I'm not
But please don't tell me to stop

Tell the leaves not to turn
But don't ever tell me I'll learn, no, no
Take the black off a crow
But don't tell me I have to go

Tell the bed not to lay
Like the open mouth of a grave, yeah
Not to stare up at me
Like a calf down on its knees

Mimpi Selasa pagi.Jul 1 08

I terjaga, I mimpikan menaiki UFO bersama sorang intelligent makhluk asing. Dia membawa I, dan adik I untuk g ke NY City. Kapal angkasa telah membawa kami dari rumah di Selayang ke New York City. Kemana lagi untuk ke NY City kalau tidak pergi ke PWTC. eh saya teringat saya pun terlepas cakap PWTC kemudian saya membetulkan kembali kepada WTC. Kami ingin pergi ke WTC. Kapal angkasa ini merentas batasan dimensi, so perjalanan kami adalah lebih cepat dari penerbangan biasa.Walaupun dapat tiket, untuk menaiki suatu bangunan tinggi di NY tapi kami tetap kena beratur jugak.

I bermimpi, bersama kawan2 untuk pindah rumah. Beramai ramai menolong kawan ini untuk berpindah. Kemudia kawan i dah beli suatu benda. Pastu i tanya benda apa ni ? Hummer ke? Pastu mamat mat saleh muka cam Mel Gibson kata ha ah hummer. 'hummer' (sebenarnya sejenis bunyian untuk bayi yang berpusing) mula2 ingatkan itu hanya lampu standing lamp.

Sebelum ini , kat kedai, saya ada jugak kena pilih standing lamp, untuk dibeli, nampak jugak hummer ni, tapi sebab ianya tidak cantik.Saya memilih untuk mengangkat sejenis floor lamp. (so mimpi ni ada ksinambungan dgn mimpi sebelum ni)

Setelah selesai menangkatnya ke atas. Rupa rupanya dia boleh di turn on dan berpusing2 dan lagu yang kedengaran adalah amat menarik dan macam lagu yang biasa kedengaran tapi tak sure apa. Saya membayangkan bagaimana seorang bayi melihat, dan saya nampak bahawa benda itu, ada segi empat sama dan berpusing. Its a simple contraption but still its fascinating.

Saya bayangkan saya di rumah pulak, dengan katil twin bed sahaja. Di bawah katil ada tergulung karpet2 yang di tinggalkan. Dan saya berfikir sama ada saya mahu untuk membawanya ke rumah baru nanti atau tidak.

Saya terjaga.♥

You loved me...or not!!

Wed 6/25/08

Yesterday was Wednesday, and as usual, I will head to the lake to get samples of Cladophora. And as I reached there, I found that the lakes are still overflown and I couldnt see any hints of Cladophora that is within my reach. And as the flooding has been going on for a couple of days, and also the sewages has overflown to the lake, there are a lot of other cyanobacteria present in the lake

Terkunci di luar

> salam Nasuh,
> 
>  Just want to tell you,
>  I am locked out of my house today,
>  and my check books in my house
>  and my battery's run flat
> 
>  cause my housemates are out for grocery shopping
>  right now I am at Birge Hall
>  i will wait here untill 10 .00pm
>  and then i will head home
> 
>  Maybe tomorrows a good idea
> 
>  Reese
> 

Salam Reese,

Sorry to hear about your misfortune today. Unfortunately, I was busy talking to my fiancee (I dont know if I told you I am getting married next summer). Anyways, I would have totally have picked you up and tried to help you out if I knew. Ill try to get a hold of you tomorrow night inshallah. Take care.

Nasuh

Fri 20 Jun 08

Ni hah ada cerita baru, last week, si labmate aku ni ha. Sapa lagi sorang je labmate aku kan. Dia tetiba kata nak borak dgn aku jap. Aku pun rasa semacam je , aku pun stop aa kerja aku.
Dia kata dia dah kiranya fedup aa tahap cipan kat sv kami tu, dia kata sibuk je memanjang dan takde masa untuk dia. Dia amat la sentapnya dengan sv kami itu. Dan dia mengomel apa la sv macam tu, asyik ada kat umah aje. dan sibuk nak tulis buku aje. Dan tak tolong dia banyak dalam research dia. Pada pendapat kawan aku tu, seorang sv haruslah ada kat lab dan sama2 buat research.
Kwn i tu komplen yang dia ni, dah buat phd 4 tahun dah, dan dia amik masa 2tahun untuk develop kaedah untuk research dia tu. Dan yang dia paling sentap ialah sebab kaedah yang dia ingat dah bagus tu, lately baru dia tau yang kaedah dia tu adalah out of date dan memang tak relevan lagi. Dan kawan i ni salahkan sapa lagi. Kawan i tu kata, kalau macam ni la, dia fikir dia nak angkat kaki la..dan pindah ke lab lain dan sv lain.

Jenuh gak la aku nak positif kan dia balik. Tapi aku dengar dulu aa cerita dia abis2. Kwn aku ni lagi kata, dia perhatikan semua student undr

arghh tulis menda ni pun i dah tension aaghh

This too shall pass

Pepatah mengatakan
Sometimes you have to go through the pain
to experience the joy

This too shall pass..






Danity Kane- Damaged

[Shannon:]
Do, Do you got a first aid kit handy?
Do, Do you know how to patch up a wound?
Tell me,

Are-are-are-are you are you patient,
Understanding?
Cause I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart and I
All
I've tried every remedy
And nothing seems to work for me
[D. Woods:]
Baby, (baby)
This situation is driving me crazy
And I really wanna be your lady
But the one before you left me so

[Chorus:]
Damaged, damaged
Damaged, damaged
I thought that I should let you know
That my heart is
Damaged, damaged
So damaged
And you can blame the one before
So how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?
(Baby, I gotta know, what you are gonna do, baby?)
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?
(Baby, I gotta know, what you are gonna do?)
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?
(Baby, I gotta know, what you are gonna do?)

[Andrea:]
Do, Do you got a first aid kit handy?
Do, Do you know how to patch up a wound?
Tell me,
Are-are-are-are you are you patient,
Understanding?
'Cause I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart and I
[Aubrey:]
You try to gain my trust
Talking is not enough
Actions speak louder than words
You gotta show me something
My heart is missing some pieces
I need this puzzle put together again

[Chorus]

[All:]

Can you fix my h-e-a-r-t?
Cause it d-a-m-a-g-e-d?
Can you fix my h-e-a-r-t?
Tell me are you up for the challenge
Cause my heart is

[Chorus:]

Damaged, damaged
I thought that I should let you know
That my heart is
Damaged
So Damaged
And you can blame the one before

Damaged, damaged
I thought that I should let you know
That my heart is
Damaged
So Damaged
And you can blame the one before
So how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?

My heart is
Damaged,
Damaged,
Damaged

Its that type of pain that u feel inside
its that type of pain that made u pray
made u cry
but its gonna be alright one day
this too shall pass

Sometimes you have to go through the pain
to experience the joy
this too shall pass

This too shall pass..